Hi Crisana,

Im sorry if i wont be too much help, but i had problems with lying aswell. In my case, i did something worse. I lied to someone i was deeply in love with and at the same time i lied to myself too. It wasnt just one lie. It was many lies after each other because i was not strong enough to face my feelings and make up my mind and stand up for myself. I never could do that, stand up for myself. So i hurt the one i love, so much that because of my mistake we never could be happy. She never forgave me and she suffered. And i suffered too. We tried to be together but she was so hurt she held onto anger. She would never see how hard i was trying to change, how much i have gone through to be a better person. I have changed, i became a better version myself, i realized my mistakes, i apologized, i traveled the world for her. I gave up friends, and things for her to prove i was nothing like before. People noticed, they said i was really becoming a great person. But she never could, her hurt was just too much she didnt see that i had to do nothing to that person anymore. It requires great strength to change, to admit your flaws and mistakes. People say its the hardest thing to do. But if someone really matters to you, or if you really want to love and accept yourself, you have to man up. Admit what you have done is wrong, put yourself in the other person’s perspective. The world is not about you. Its about all of us. Thus, we have to try and put ourselves in other people’ shoes. They are doing their best too, just like us.
I have never been forgiven. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, people cant look over the mistakes we make. We are all different, we have to accept that.
One thing about lying is, that it ALWAYS gets revealed. Be honest. Be honest with yourself and with people around you. It is not worthy to lie, you know why not? Because you will regret it instantly. You will not only hurt other people, but yourself too. Create moments you never wanted to. And you risk to lose people you love because maybe they cant forgive you, no matter if its a minor lie or a huge one. You cant assume maybe they will get over it with time.

I know it is hard to stand up for yourself, especially when you are in a bad situation. But trust me, with lying things will get worse. Be in a bad situation and get over it within an hour rather than have to live with regret and confusion and pain for much longer time just because you couldnt bring yourself to stay honest. There will always be sticky situations. But what matters is if you can stay honest, and solve the problem by not betraying yourself. And i know you can do it too. Last but not least, ask yourself the question, is it better to lie and lose people and have them think of you as someone you cant be trusted, or be honest and have people forgive you because you are someone who can admit if you screwed up something? That you are not a coward. Isnt it better to be known as someone truthful and strong, than a liar? A part of me will always stay that liar, insecure person i was. I cant change that. And i have to accept that some people will never see me for who i am now, because of my mistake in the past. But what i can do is to prove the people who could forgive me that i earn their trust by being trustful.

Stay strong. You are not alone. We all make mistakes.

Ps.: Do what you think is best. You cant change the past, but you can change the future. Apologizing, depends on you. But always consider others feelings too. And that way it will be easier to understand why they reacted the way they did.

Hope i could help.