I did yes and I wanted to clarify with a few life updates. I’m glad I was able to find work and am hoping to find an apartment closer to the office soon. I hope 5 months from today I’ll be happier.

These were teenagers who did this. Unfortunately college was way worse socially and I never made friends in 4 years. I’m hoping things will get better soon but am really down and frustrated. I turn 27 next month and am worried I’ll be alone forever.

Definitely because I was 21 and about to graduate college. I was really hoping to put myself out there in the real world and try to find myself. 5 years later I’ve done a lot and have met lots of great people, learned many lessons, and matured a lot but still feel lonely.

I’m not going to lie it was awkward and I didn’t click with anyone. It was a mini book club where they gather a bunch of people to discuss an article rather than an actual novel. It was mainly small talk and discussing the novel. My issue is that at these group events I find myself feeling awkward and left out if I feel others are having more in common than me whether it’s because they’re closer in age or work in the same field. I have an alumni mixer for my graduate school tomorrow and hopefully that will be a bit better.

Luckily in high school I had teachers and a guidance counselor who looked out for me as well as nice friends. In college I was not as lucky. I just constantly became cynical and distrustful of others assuming everyone was out to hurt me. It really set my confidence back and I felt like a bullied 12 year old all over again.

Hello Isabel. Thank you for the response. I recently got an official NVLD diagnosis on Friday which isn’t surprising but part of me is a bit resentful because I feel like if I’d known this 10-15 years ago I wouldn’t have struggled so much as a teen and in college but you live and learn. The report said I was a “bright, articulate, kind young woman” who “presents as friendly and polite and makes good eye contact”. That broke my heart to hear because I spent so much of my life believing I was a terrible freak of a person and deserved to be bullied and ostracized because I didn’t fit in easily. Since I’ve moved back to NY I’m trying to not make mistakes I made in college of going home on weekends to avoid putting myself out there since I quickly became jaded and resigned that I didn’t click with people in my immediate vicinity my freshman year. I attended a 222 event yesterday to put myself out there and exchanged Instas with a few people. I also have been reading a book called Platonic by Dr. Marisa Franco and some of the advice was to reach out to old friends or acquaintances which I did. It still feels a bit frustrating that I feel so lonely but if 1 year from today I’m happier and feel I have more of a support system I’ll be a happy camper.

Whenever I see a cute baby I think how lovely it would be to have one of my own when I have a partner and more financial stability.