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    I am confused.  My brother doesnt have a disability, I do, and I am female.

    I do believe you are incorrect also in your assessment, as she threw the fact that she is a nurse, has the qualifications etc in my face saying that because of these things, she KNOWS that my issues are not Autism related.

    She has no sympathy whatsoever for my health issues which I think is disgusting for a health care professional.

    Thanks for your input, I no longer require help with this matter.



    Thanks for your message.

    Things in the UK, where I am from are a lot different to the US.  I don’t think that we treat Autism the same way that you do.

    In response to your question, before 2021, I had not spoken to my sister in years.  However, the point I was trying to make was that my sister is a nurse, she has a degree in psychology and has worked with Autistic people previously, therefore, I felt that she should have some understanding of how my Autism effects me and be more compassionate and supporting of my needs instead of completely invalidating me.

    I no longer need the support I felt that I needed when I first started this thread.



    Thank you for your message.

    As mentioned to Roberta, my situation has changed now and I am no longer considering this option, therefore I can forget about this moral dilemma.

    Thank you for replying to me and trying to help.




    Thank you for your message.

    The things you mentioned would not be suitable for me, but thank you.

    My situation has changed anyway, a friend of mine has taken me in, so I am no longer in that place.

    I have decided not to go forward, so the moral dilemma doesn’t exist anymore.



    Hello LemonTree,

    Thank you for your reply.

    No, you havent understood me exactly.

    I rented a caravan in a field from a farmer.  I paid rent which was inclusive of all bills, so I never paid any utility bills, I didnt even pay for lightbulbs.  In the UK, you have to pay council tax, I found out that he had been claiming single occupancy and receiving a 25% discount on this bill and that the council were asking questions about me staying there.  He told them I didnt actually live there and just used it as an address.

    As it was all bills included, I had no idea he had been doing this until he told me.  I felt very uncomfortable about being a part of this fraud.  He also gold me he woild have to increase my rent to cover the discount he would lose, which I couldn’t afford.  I later found out, he was increasing my rent for the entire council tax bill.

    At that time, I moved in with my sister and have been here a year. She is kicking me out in 3 days, therefore I have nowhere to go.  My sister lives 4 hours away from the farm I used to live on.

    I dont want to stay in this location as I dont know anybody and am not familiar with it, therefore I am looking for alternative accommodation in familiar places.

    The first place I picked, which is close to my friend, the council, who are the ones who prevent homelessness, said that because I have no family or work ties to the area, they couldn’t help me.

    They suggested I contact the council where I have 6 years address history, which is where I had to leave.

    So my question is, if I go back to that council, they may pick up on the fact that it actually was my address and I did live there and then start asking questions again about the council tax that was not paid for me there.

    1. I dont have any family or friends that can put me up.  It’s also difficult me being so far away.  I have spent the last 6 months looking for somewhere to live, but as I’m not working due to ill health, it’s very difficult.

    A hostel wouldbt work for me as I find it very stressful being around other people, especially strangers.

    2. Wasnt reckless leaving there, as explained.  However, being kicked out of my current place with only a weeks notice hasnt exactly left me with manh options. Like I said, I’d been trying to find housing for months.

    3. I cant be generic as they ask for proof of address, therefore I would have to prove that I lived there, which then opens up the questions.

    4. I am formerly diagnosed as Autistic, but only last year at the age of 38.  I say misunderstood because the people I have told have not understood.  I’ve had “everyone is a bit autistic” to “it doesn’t change anything” to just being told to “toughen up” when I’ve said I dont understand something.

    I also say this because I feel my sister who is kicking me out, doesn’t understand. She says my “issues” arent related to Autism.  I feel like I’m suffering from Autistic Burnout, but she doesn’t believe me.

    She says that because she is a nurse, has worked with Autistic people in the past and has a degree in psychology, that she knows better than me.

    I’ll admit, I’m still learning, I was pretty much diagnosed and left to get on with it.  However I’ve been reading a book called Unmasking Autism, I literally wrote down 2 A4 pages worth of symptoms that I could relate to.

    On my other post on here, the person who responded said it was “a mental health diagnosis” again, this is a misunderstanding.  Autism is a disability, it affects all areas of life.  It’s not a mental health issue as people seem to think, although masking causes some mental health issues.

    I hope that answers some of your questions.



    Autism is a disability not a mental health diagnosis as you put it..


    Yes, my sister does live in the same situation as I do, however, it’s her flat and she has the means to change it, I dont.

    It’s not that she “didnt arrange for hot water” as you put it.  She deliberately had it turned off and cut off.

    Are you saying laziness is a mental health illness?  I have mental health problems, but i still clean up after myself.

    Incorrect. It’s a 2 bedroom flat, i have the spare bedroom. She moved into the living room and still has her own bedroom.

    My sister gave me somewhere to live. That’s where the support ended.  She didnt acknowledge my illness and the fact i became unable to do as much as i had been doing, instead she got angry with me.

    Being autistic, i struggle to make decisions, struggle to do things at the last minute, struggle with a lot of things and i asked for support to help me with these things.

    I’ve literally just been contemplating to myself if I’m the selfish obe, because, unlike my sister, i am able to think about other peoples positions and points of view and consider my own actions.

    Unfortunately, my sister only sees her own point of view. I dont believe j have got the support I have needed and it has gradually made me worse and worse.

    Being Autistic, my brain works in a very different way to neuro typical people.  I’m even reading that neurodiverse peoples brains are far different from each others than neurotypical peoples brains are from each other.

    I think I will leave it at that.  You are clearly keen to make assumptions and pass judgement, something I dont find helpful.


    Hello anita,

    Thanks for your reply.

    I’m a bit confused though.  You say my sister is having a tough time then list the things I struggle with in the flat.

    My sister chose to not have hot water, she chose that.  She chooses not to have the sink fixed.  She chooses to leave her mess everywhere and not clean any pots. Probably because she expects me to do it and because I’m not, she wont either. ..

    I’m not sure I can move back. I dont have the energy to pack a van, drive 4 hours, unpack and then drive another 4 hours.

    Nothing I can do anymore.. keep asking for support. Never get it.. no point to life anymore

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