I need help I have never felt this way ever I know people say that all the time. But when I was a little kid I learned how to build up a wall so no one could hurt me emotionally or physicaly my dad use to best me and thing like that so I learned to never get attached. Well this girl came into my life last year I went to California to see my friend I was out there a month and the entire time I was there I talked to her Skyped and everything well when I got back home we continued go talk and when christmas came around she came home from college and we hungout almost the entire time she was home. I started to like her but I tried to push my feelings away cause I told myself along time ago that I wouldn’t get feelings for anyone. I didn’t want to hurt again well we continued to talk everyday she was just like me played hockey we have the same beliefs on things she was perfect and we spent the entire summer hanging out and doing things. I would go to her work and see her she would come
Over after work almost everyday we would sleep and cuddle all the time but i was still distant cause I was so scared and I told her that and she said she understood. Then came
Time for Her to go back to school which is couple hours away and we still talked. And she wanted to make us official and I was stil scared to let her all the way in I was afraid I would become my father and do what he did to my
Mom so I said why can’t we continue what we are doing and I guess she felt like I didn’t like her or care about her but that’s not true. She never once told me this then one weekend I went up there to see her we hungout the entire time and did everything and I loved her I was just scared to tell her. Then I csme hkme
Then on Halloween she wouldn’t answer my calls or anything and I was worried well she ended up telling me she was taking to another guy because he made her feel like he cared and I lost it I cried so hard on the phone to her I told her how much I loved her and how she is the best thing in my life but she told me it was to late and I hurt her to many times. But she said she would try and give me a second chance so everyday I would call her and tell her how much I missed her and how much I loved her. Then one day she told me she was with him and had been for 2 months so she lied to me
About giving me a second chance and I’m heart broken I cant focus at school or at hockey practice I lose it I get into fights. I cry myself to sleep I can’t eat I try and focus on working out and getting in shape but it doesn’t help cause we would work out together and all I think about is her. I still tell her I love her I can’t help it I want her back so bad and when she gets into relationships they usually last a long time when we first started to talk she just got out of a 6 year one I feel like she can’t be alone and doesn’t like it thats why she is alesys getting into them right after one. I call her and txt her still I see her posts on Facebook with her new boyfriend and she looks so happy happier then she was with me but I don’t know I feel lost and empty without her I asked her if we could date after she breaks up with him and she said Maybe I know I shouldn’t wait but I love her so much and Im afraid that she will be with him for ever and mayhe marry him but it’s been 4 months and it still hurts so bad I can’t get over Her I thought I would never love and she taught me how to I guess it was to late but I feel like it can’t be. What should I do i need help sorry for the ramble but I can’t take it I’m sick of crying