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Cynthia

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #74160
    Cynthia
    Participant

    Great, thank you all for your responses! Jodi & Tir- I appreciate your reassurance in my belief that a boyfriend isn’t just going to automatically make me a happier person! That youtube video was interesting, and had some good points. And yes, I could ask my parents and friend those questions; but my intent isn’t to upset anyone by posing the “what-if-your-partner-died-or-left-you” scenario- I just want them to understand that I’m not unhappy being single. Again, thank you all for the responses and encouraging words!

    #66372
    Cynthia
    Participant

    Thank you guys for the responses! Yes, I know I can’t change him. Funny thing is, I would tell him he shouldn’t change for me; we’re not compatible. Period. But he said he would change for me, and then would be frustrated/angry at me for not seeing the “change.” It was a…peculiar situation I suppose. Yes, I have deleted most contact with him; which was surprisingly scary for me to do. But, like I said, when I had contact with him, we would just end up arguing and I would waste my time.
    I am actually quite busy- I think that’s why I miss him. In my nth year of college, looking for a job, working part time, volunteering, and studying constantly; I feel I don’t really get a break. “Bob” used to be my break. He was what made me take a second, step away from the chaos of my life, and talk about fun things; little things; gossip; news. We may have had fundamental differences, but at one point in time, he was someone I did enjoy talking to.
    Right now I have a couple great friends who have been really supportive. I still find myself wanting to be in a relationship with someone- with “Bob” I suppose. I become a bit sadden when I see that my 2 great friends are also in great relationships with their long-term partners. It makes me feel lonely. And like you said Banu, I think I do glorify the good moments in our relationship. At times I feel like being with him is better than being “alone.” But it really wasn’t. I suppose I just need some time and patience. I can’t wait to read your article Banu 🙂 Thanks again for your responses!

    #51683
    Cynthia
    Participant

    Thank you very much for your answers.
    We haven’t brought up religion lately, so we’ve been less critical of each other, not arguing as much. Still, I know that he hasn’t changed; he just hasn’t voiced how much he disrespects religious people. That in itself is a bit frustrating; but, like you both said, it’s not like I can change him or his view.
    I agree Matt; I really need to be respected in some sense. In a way, I can’t stand being with someone who thinks all religious people are nutcases.
    Thank you again.

    #49584
    Cynthia
    Participant

    I am:
    I feel very similar to what you describe. I debate with my boyfriend quite often- not about silly topics, like what movie should we see this weekend, or whether cats are better than dogs- but about serious topics (religion, abortion, politics, ect.). I personally enjoy being able to discuss topics with someone, and he’s that someone. He will challenge my beliefs (we have opposite views on nearly everything), and I enjoy his constructive criticism. However, recently, all he seemed to do was criticize. Not just “you belief is wrong because…” but now, “you’re wrong because,” and “you should really know this.” I finally hit a wall, and angrily expressed that I thought his was a (insert bad word) and I disliked him treating me as unintelligent, and so forth. His said he didn’t mean to make me feel this way; I believe him. But that doesn’t make it easier; I know he didn’t mean to make me feel unintelligent, but he still seems that think I am unintelligent. I actually came to this website for this reason; I want to stop turning to him for reassurance and self-esteem, which I’m clearly not getting, and find inner peace. So, while we might not be in the exact same situation, I do feel some of your struggles. I appreciate the other comments in this thread as well.

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