Hello Sunset,

It does seem like our backgrounds may have been similar in one way or another. It’s terribly isolating like you say- to not have your voice heard by the people closest to you. It seems we both have come to the point where the rose tint isn’t there anymore. I’m hoping that one day my sparkle comes back that I seem to have lost long ago. I’m feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment but hoping that I gain some momentum soon.

Its good you’re taking care of yourself and are exploring the world, we have a beautiful planet and it’s there to be explored so do as much as you can 🙂

There is a book that you may find useful called ‘home coming’ by John Bradshaw. I don’t feel in a place to work through it but you may feel strong enough to do some self work at this point.

I hope you slowly manage to fill that void or at least feel at peace with it.

All the best, Alex.

Hi Anita. Yes, that’s exactly it. I felt like I was almost home when I was with my ex’s family. They were genuinely lovely people who would help anyone. I’ve got so much respect for them. My parents love me in their own ways but (without sounding big headed) they don’t have the emotional intelligence to understand where I’m coming from. I can see the cause in both their behaviours but can’t exactly tell them. 1.) because they will definitely take offence and 2.) they wouldn’t believe in therapy. It’s so lonely for me cos I want to feel that closeness and understanding with them but know I’ll never get it. It doesn’t help that I live with them. I’ve got this resentment towards my mum especially for masking my anxiety when I was a child. She struggles with her own anxiety but has never done anything about it and always lent on my Gran who was emotionally abusive to her. My mum can be emotionally abusive to me too. My dad used to be violent towards my mum years ago too and it just shows she has no self respect. for years I’ve seen the same things happen. There’s no violence now, that stopped as I got older but my parents stay together for convenience. It’s really put me off relationships but not just for that reason. I don’t think it’s fair to get involved with someone when I’m not emotionally stable and potentially jobless! x