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mountaindew

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  • October 5, 2016 at 6:42 am #117249
    mountaindew
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for your advice again. I’ve been also thinking that it’s better not to contact him soon after I move to europe. It’s better to work on myself, settle down in a new city, and when I truly improved myself, I will contact him.
    I know this is up to me, but could you perhaps tell me what you think is better way to reach him? I think about sending a casual postcard, or an apology letter. What do you think about a surprise visit?
    Thank you again.

    Mountaindew

    October 4, 2016 at 12:43 pm #117183
    mountaindew
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for asking these specific questions to me. It helps me think more deeply into a specific area. I posted about my situation on some other websites too, and I only got harsh(but probably true) replies which made me feel even worse than I did before.

    If I’m super lucky and get a second chance with him, I don’t think and I won’t get mad just because I don’t like that things are not my way. Even if I do get angry, I will choose to take a short moment to breathe and think of it in his perspective instead of expressing my anger right away and saying mean things.

    People tell me it’s over and I should leave him alone for god’s sake and that I don’t deserve a second chance and he’s not going to give me one. But because I’m now aware of what I have to fix(I started working on them) and because I will be finally closer to where he lives, I just want to ask for that second chance even though I know it’s very unlikely to happen.

    Mountaindew

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by mountaindew.
    October 4, 2016 at 11:51 am #117176
    mountaindew
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Of the many things I realized from this break up, I realized how hurtful and wrong to say those things especially to someone who loves me and I love. I knew it was wrong but I never fully realized how much those things can hurt him… Although I don’t want to admit, those behaviors were manipulative and very hurtful.

    I also realized that I focused too much on unnecessary things. I tried to hold our relationship together by obsessing with how often we text or call. I failed to see it as a big picture and focus on the good things(how he was always there to listen to me, patient with me, etc).

    I know I already messed it up. I know I should leave him alone since he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. But I just want one last chance to try because I never realized of my mistakes until now, and I’m really willing to be different this time.

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