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MW de Jesus

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  • in reply to: Is this the end of a friendship? #91025
    MW de Jesus
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    Pree,

    Based on what you’ve shared I understand that there is a distance between you and a friend you value deeply and he is unwilling to address it with you. I have a few thoughts. One, 99% of the time other people’s reactions/emotions are about them and not us. It could be that when he lost his dad and had to live with his mom that he withdrew emotionally from many people, not just you, and isn’t willing to engage for his own reasons. I think the less you can try to take it personally, the better (as hard as that may be). Second, have you told him how much his friendship means to you and how much you miss him? Can you offer him that, without any expectation of something in return? You shared that you were hurt when he didn’t acknowledge something you had made. I currently have a friend I am distant from because I feel she doesn’t recognize or value me…but ultimately my need for recognition is about me, not her. And lastly, maybe the friendship is over, has run its course. It is so painful when people don’t remain in our lives (and I hope that isn’t the case for you!), AND it is also a part of life. Let yourself fully feel sad, angry, hurt, etc. Perhaps then you can let go with love, instead of in anger. You were the best friend you could be and for reasons that may or may not be related to you, he can’t reciprocate. Best of luck!!!

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