I believe you are already strong as you have come on here and opened your heart to many. That alone is amazing, the only advice I can give you Ivy is talk to your mum and tell her how you feel. Never feel bad about crying its an emotion and one that you should always express,
Do not worry about your English I could not read until recently and I am 52 years old!!
Whatever you write as long as it comes from your heart it will always be right.