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Catherine

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  • in reply to: Guilty Conscience #63972
    Catherine
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    I agree with Inky, this man is extremely dangerous. He’s already sexually assaulted you (and, just in case this is you, don’t justify it by assigning ‘levels’ to sexual assault), he’s making serious threats of violence, he’s being a bully and I actually believe him when he says he thinks he’s done nothing wrong (he has, but I believe he truly lacks self awareness). If you’re in any doubt about how dangerous he is, you need to read a book called The Gift of Fear. This guy and his personality flaws are in it: he is a psychopath. That’s not to say he’s a murderer, just that he has some very undesirable personality traits: lack of empathy, overblown self-importance, manipulative, a liar, parasitic, irresponsible, and treats others poorly, particularly the vulnerable. This isn’t a time to try and figure out why you’re feeling guilt and sympathy – maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome! – but rather a time to seek formal advice. The YMCA may have a lawyer who visits once a week and gives legal advice in exchange for a donation (I gave $10 and he helped me a lot) to find out what your rights are in removing this guy given that he’s paying rent. Inky’s advice is also good here – moving out may be a sign to your husband that he needs to wake up and help you deal with his ‘friend’ who has overstayed his welcome. I don’t see that you have any other choices but to ultimately get this guy out of your house. Your husband needs to be onboard with this and back you up fully. Has your brother ever seen this guy’s bad behaviour too? Honestly, get this guy out of your house and I’m certain your bad feelings will start to fade.

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