P.S. I feel cared (or the like) and not being given up for your latest reply while I didn’t respond yet

Dear anita,

Hope you didn’t mind me replying a bit late, in case you wondered, my current job has used up most of my energy… And that’s why I admire your efforts here.

He responded by judging you, saying that you “wanted to be on people’s mind always but it’s not how it works”, that you are not healthy for wanting too much contact with him. is correct (plus that it’s obvious to me that he WAS fine with frequent contacts before, but it’s all in the past 🙂

you meant to ask if you are unhealthy (wanting too much contact with him). isn’t really correct, I don’t consider myself unhealthy and I don’t need to believe his judgement. However, I wondered his intention of turning me down (am I clear here??).

Dear anita,

Good to see your reply.

At first I thought that I didn’t feel angry for a few times daily, but now I remember those moments and agree with you.

Yes, I’m sensitive to people’s emotions or feelings, when they’re negative I get uncomfortable or nervous, maybe that comes from witnessing my parents fighting in my childhood. So I tend to avoid or escape such scenarios.

I like “there is nothing wrong with anger being expressed in a controlled way”. As for your question (“even when annoyed, I do not and will not disrespect you. Isn’t that a good thing?”), it’s good that you and I and that man respected each other when the vibes got bad, but it often left me a mark, of course, by reading your latest response, I think we’re cool and there’s no need for me to worry.

Your English is like a native speaker. Would you be surprised or the like if I say the following? Compared to the man, I always thought I’d revealed A LOT with “outsiders” (no offense), which got me thinking how he felt during the time, especially that I had to balance the need to “protect” myself and my desire to interact with him.

Can you point out another example when I was being (purposefully) vague besides the “whom” so I may figure out why/if I did that on purpose.

Thanks for saying that you wanted to continue to communicate with me, it’s been a meaningful journey with you so far

Dear anita,

I interpreted your tone as unpleasant/annoyed/impatient this time, which makes me hesitate to say more, and this is probably my pattern when communicating with others. Please note that I’m not blaming you and I’ve been grateful for your efforts.

So the other was the man basically, I chose not to clarify because I didn’t want you to think that I still thought about him to be honest.

As we’re talking about my way of communications here, it’s true that I kept much to myself when interacting with him, but the outcome wasn’t good when I opened up later, it’s like he didn’t want to deal with those things from me

Dear anita,

Thanks for the reminder, I’ll see what I can do.

I saw this article (https://tinybuddha.com/blog/setting-emotional-boundaries-stop-taking-on-other-peoples-feelings/?fbclid=IwAR2QgQZ6pBocSO72c8BzUcBsaFDRBqYAY8xBcYYAQpcZdOtegHsbasqmsHo) today and wondered how to tell the difference between an emotional boundary and simply not wanting to do something.

Dear anita,

My apologies for confusion. With this friend, the contacts are daily, though we stopped once because of a small misunderstanding, but we cleared that (I made a similar but stronger point that the other wouldn’t hear from me again if it’s not my turn to speak, hm, now it sounds like a threat, thankfully, the friend understood what I meant).

I was specifically referring to that man when I wrote that I couldn’t practice the respectful behaviour, probably because 1) the pattern was different from the beginning, 2) he’s not merely a friend, so when there was no interaction for longer than what it used to be, I got worried and insecure. Of course, it’s all ended at the moment

Dear anita,

I hope to bring good news here next time, for now I’ll relax and try to free myself.

Thank you for replying always <3

Stay healthy and see you!

Dear anita,

I admire how you present yourself here to help others daily, that’s unselfish.

About my last question, for example, I say something to the other person, but my principle of waiting for the other to respond before going further, when there’s no cue (or “green light”) for me to go on, even if there’s more I’d like to share, I can only keep silence. The whole idea kind of limits myself, right?