Hi Misty,

Thank you very much for your wonderful message. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m slowly realizing that maybe it is time to focus on myself. The guy and I have been chatting for 11months now and that’s it, everything only happens in chat. I’ve been pushing him to meet me but he always says that he is not yet ready. For that 11 months, I have not focused much on myself, and just focused on how I can cheer him up or something that would make him happy. I’ve sent him cute pics, my drawings, my art, my poems and even a song. Haha. Honestly, I’m not asking anything in return but now that I’m thinking about it, throughout our chat history, he didn’t actually made much of an effort to be sweet or be more. He does rarely. Maybe I expected too much, and we really aren’t going to work out.

With what you’ve said, I’m planning to buy a book. Still searching though. But my friends recommended me the book “The Secret” before and other books that followed it. Maybe that’s good too?

As of now, I’m torn with what I’m feeling. I miss everything between us because even though we only talk thru chat, I’ve been attached to him already. But I doubt that he feels the same way to me. With the way he treats me sometimes. And the other feeling that I should move on and think of him less. We still agreed to remain friends, but lately it seems that he’s not excited to chat with me. So I guess, I should let go as early as now.

Also, for the coming out part. I really want to, but here in the Philippines, society is not very accepting to the idea yet. And I’m too scared to disappoint my parents. Hopefully, when I’m successful and all, I’d have the courage to come out. I understand what you said about not being yourself and not enjoying life. I feel that too, but as of now I guess I’d have to endure them first.
Thank you so much for replying! I really appreciate it!

Hope to hear from you soon. Good luck and take care!! 🙂