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niki

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  • July 13, 2015 at 1:57 pm #79775
    niki
    Participant

    Hi Ecotone

    Having done some online dating there is an easy intimacy with someone when you haven’t actually met. You are able to project way more on to a person through texting than you would in actual face to face conversation.

    Was she really that amazing or was the potential of her amazing? She was in to you until the reality of your text jarred with her idea of you and then easy to cut you off because you just existed in the ether not as a flesh and blood person.

    Anyway do you really want to be with someone so easily offended that it negates all the good you had in your initial conversations.

    More importantly – how perfect a relationship would it have been with someone who doesn’t get your sense of humour – that sounds like a horrible relationship!

    By the way I am assuming you are American – any English influence in your upbringing? What you did with your text would have been more understood in England I think as generally there is a culture of teasing people that we like. Which is what it sounded like you were doing.

    July 13, 2015 at 1:36 pm #79773
    niki
    Participant

    Please reread what you have just written as though a stranger had written it.

    You are a terrible person because someone else is not happy. Sorry what?

    You say you have not had self esteem issues still recently but you don’t just suddenly learn this kind of thinking. This is classic black and white, catastrophic thinking. A few things go wrong so everything is bad, a few people don’t like something you do so all of you is terrible.

    The trouble is the more you think like this and cancel plans with friends because you are busy beating yourself up over slights and others actions towards you (and it is you doing the majority of the beating-down) the more you create the same situations in your life.

    Try treating yourself like someone you care about – tell yourself what you would tell them if they were in the same situation.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 4 months ago by niki.
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