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    Hi there,

    it really feels good to hear that there are someone who is also experiencing the pain that I’m going thru.

    My ex-bf is very obsessive in running, he can run in the morning, lunch time and after work. Unfortunately, he is my colleague too. We are fine the first 2-3 months, after that he text lesser and no longer that caring for me. Even when I propose to meet up for dinner or weekends to have a better understanding of each other, he is no longer interested. I just don’t understand what happen and he is reluctant to say. I initiated the breakup but I feel very very painful. I still try to care for him as a friend/colleague. He has a bad childhood and not on good terms as his family. I tried to help and even wrote a letter to him but no response from him. I guess I should follow the advice here to totally NO contact with him. I need to be happy with myself, my job and build up my confidence. I admit I went thru 1 month of depression and lost weight. I’m trying to stand up again. This is my first love and perhaps that is why I can’t forget it though months passed.


    Let me share my story…
    I met him who is my colleague at that time. We were stationed in different offices though under same company. We happen to have the chance and work together on a project in oct 2013. During the project phase, we email, call and discuss on the project. I treat him like a normal colleague during that time. I thought I will remain single as I’m not into marriage or having a relationship due to some unhappiness that happened to my parents.

    He started to text me more often and ask me out from nov 2013 to Feb 2014. I’m open to relationship if it is destined so I just try out. During the first 2-3 months, he was very sweet and caring but we only go out for a few times and he asked to be my boyfriend and I accepted after serious consideration for 1 day. Texting becomes his daily routine with me and I really thought he could be the guy for me and change my concept of marriage. He will share with me his daily activities like went running, the food he had for the day, etc etc…whether I have taken my meals…what I’m doing …etc.
    Just when I have started to accept him fully, he suddenly goes into a state of silence. He stop texting me and I was wondering what happen? I tried to show care and concern but he ignore. He replied me 5-6 days later and said he is sorry to let me worry but he never tell me the reason. I still don’t know what happen until now. His daily texting started to get lesser and I don’t know why. I’m used to waiting for his sms after his evening run and he would replied that he is tired after the running and talk tomorrow. The next day, he will be working and not much texting and after work, he will go running again and no sms…In short, he is no longer like last time regardless of how tired he is, he will sms me. When I try to arrange for outing for weekends, he started to give excuses like tired after running. btw, he is very obssessive in running, he will run in the morning before going to work at least 10km and sometimes he will run during lunch time and every day after work will go running again another 10-20km. He will also go running on weekends, twice a day on weekends. Sometimes I wonder is he in this stage because I’m officially his girlfriend and he no longer needs to care for me? There are certain things which he promised me like he would go to certain places together with me but never fulfiled.

    Though the texting get lesser, he still treat me as his girlfriend. As his girlfriend, I tried to treasure every moment with him when he is not running. sometimes asking him for lunch but he says he wants to go running, go to his sister’s house. He never share with me if he is facing any issues at his family, I really don’t know if I can help him in any way as a girlfriend. Sometimes I tried to talk to him but he will avoid.

    I was transferred to the same office site as him and same team in Apr 2014. We may bump into each other at times and behave normally. However, I realised that he no longer wanted to communicate face to face, I have tried to ask/text but he never reply me. In the end, I have no choice but to initiate a break up in May. It was really painful for me as he is my first love. I never officially intro him to family or friends because I still can’t find the identity he gave me. Even my break up to him is thru sms and he just replied 2 days later with a 🙁 smiley face. I don’t have chance to tell him why I initiate the break up and he seems like he also doesn’t want to know or hear.

    I really can’t be with a guy who doesn’t communicate with me properly. As times goes by in office, I realised that he doesn’t like to communicate with people or he has difficulties understanding people. Email content interpretation is a bit weird coming from him. Few colleagues commented they also do not know whether he is doing certain things for them based on the email he replied. When they call him, he may not answer. He is only close to a few colleagues. There was once when his boss asked both of us in a discussion and wanted him to produce a report. Many days passed and when his boss saw the report, his boss commented that the report was not correct and asked me to help him. I told him I can go thru with him and even work overtime with him but he ignore and proceed his way to rework on the report. End results of the 2nd version of the report also rejected by his boss due to his misinterpretation. I really want to help him but he is not giving me any chance.

    I tried very hard to treat him as normal colleague after break up but I’m still thinking of him everyday till now. Last month, his boss screamed at him due to some report what was done by him and I tried to comfort him thru texting. I try to show care and concern for him as a colleague. He replied my sms that he can no longer stay in this company because his boss embarrassed him in front of others by screaming at him. I told him I help him to look out for new job. after this, he never reply anymore. I did send a few job openings thru sms but he never reply. I’m tired already frankly speaking…but I still think of him daily though lesser. When I’m working, I will concentrate on my work but when I’m taking a break, I will think of him…whether he is having any difficulties in work which I can help…he is seated in a cubicle few metres away from me but blocked. Sometimes I can still hear his voice. I’m really feeling very miserable whenever I go to office but I keep on telling myself that I need to forget him!

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