I’m afraid to talk to someone. I feel pathetic if I talk to someone. It’s so much easier over the internet because it is anonymous. I feel less judged.
If I talk to a friend, I feel like I am weak and pathetic. I would feel as if I am burdening with my troubles, causing more troubles.
If I talk to a professional, I feel like I will be deceived and manipulated. To take a perspective that I am unsure of.
I am really troubled, and my closest friend isn’t very close. I don’t have much for a family either.
Having a best friend seems to be, at the same time, both good and bad.
Good that I have someone to trust and talk to.
Bad that I appear pathetic in front of this person I trust.

Back to the closest friend that I have. Well, he’s a great friend, but I don’t feel as I am a great friend. I try. But I don’t feel like I succeed. I don’t feel any better.