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May 16, 2013 at 8:59 am #35701KelliParticipant
I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time with your friend, whom you love so much. I know exactly how you feel, as I’ve gone through something similar with one of my very best friends whom I also loved dearly. We met as teenagers and we were each other’s rock for many years. We relied on each other for emotional support and went through a lot of tough times together. We thought we’d be friends forever, but, after 18 years of friendship, in the end, we did not survive the transition to adulthood. In my late twenties, I moved away to another state and got married, and I believe that was when things really started to change and we were forced to learn to live without each other and grow up. For a variety of reasons, it got pretty nasty between us. To lose her felt scary for me and as if I was losing a limb. But, it’s been 3 years, and I feel so much better about myself and my life than ever before. I can stand on my own two feet. I don’t need her anymore. I don’t feel responsible for her anymore. I think that your friend is angry and bitter, and she is unfairly taking that out on you. She should be happy for you, that you are doing what you want, and need to do, in your own life, by going to university. She should be supportive of your choices, as your friend, and she is not. I think that you are right that you should distance yourself from her, so that you can pursue your goals. You are not abandoning her. I know how you feel about this, as I felt like I was abandoning my friend by moving away to start my new life too. It sounds like this has become an unhealthy friendship for you. You are depressed over it. You need to move on, at least for awhile. Be ready for it to hurt. Be ready for your friend to be angry. Just know that in the end, you are doing what is best for you. This is not selfish. You have to live your life for you and not for anyone else. You’ll be so much happier in the end, by getting away from this friendship. I just know it! 🙂 Good luck!