Dear anita,

Thank you for your reply and for being patient with me.

When you asked the question about a particular mental habit that I need to change, it got me thinking. It is difficult to pin point a particular habit. I guess the more appropriate thing to do may be to re-program my subconscious mind for thinking positively.

I am able to make out that the constant feelings of negativity, anxiety, stress and what not are taking a toll on my productivity and also physical health.

To add to this, both my parents are also not positive thinkers. And this has been the case all throughout my childhood.  So I don’t have someone to look up to in my house. In fact now a days I end up giving them suggestions about taking things positively. This is quite energy draining at times.

My wife is quite optimistic, but she alone is not enough to take all of us out of the negativity. And she already has her hands full in managing her work and tending to our baby.

Last week was a bit better as I had a mood swing and I came to a non-negative state. I am saying non-negative because it indeed feels like that. During this phase I tend to have some thoughts other than negative ones, but not highly positive ones.

So there is some kind of cyclic pattern that is going on. Previously before my current downfall, the cyclic nature was there but it was more inclined towards positivity. But of late it has inclined towards negativity.

I hope you can understand my situation. What I am looking forward to is some method or technique that someone has used successfully to get out of such a situation. I am very sure that what I am experiencing is only in my mind. If someone or something can drive the negativity out, it will be of great help.

Dear anita,

To tell you more about myself, I am a very unemotional person – meaning I do not feel any emotional attachment to anyone. Not even towards my family (parents, wife, baby). And I also cannot pretend to be an emotional person.

One good thing about this is that my wife understands this and we talk about it. About my current state of mind, I speak to her on and off, but we both have realized that after the arrival of our baby, our connection to each other has further weakened. (As it is we were not deeply connected, but we used to have a dialogue quite frequently, but now there is almost no dialogue). Its as if we are on different planes.

Further, managing day to day work pressure and attending to family is feeling like a burden. It feels as if I am buckling under pressure and there’s no way out.

In all this chaos, I have observed that babies do have a sixth sense. I think that since I am in an agitated mindset, my baby also gets agitated when I hold her, and does not want to be with me. I can barely manage her when mom is not around. My wife always tells me to build a good rapport with our child. I try it in my own way, but due to lack of emotion, I may be failing in this front.

I can go on but maybe this can give you some insight into my state of mind.

Thanks for being patient with me.