Hi Anita,

He most definitely does not have a case and he knows it. My grandparents were very fair in what they left behind, and they did very well for themselves. They had two houses here, and left one for each child plus two houses in Sicily. My mom’s house is of greater value here but he gets a beachfront condo in Sicily and we get a small run down, basically uninhabitable house in a mountain town in Sicily where my grandmother was born. They also left money behind that was split 50/50. More than enough to cover the funeral equally. He truly is bitter and greedy. Because when my grandfather died he forced my grandmother to move and sold his future inheritance when the real estate market sucked. No one else wanted this but he was suddenly the “man” of the family and no one could stop him. He didn’t want to care for the house and made my grandmother move in with my mom (who has always lived in the home she has inherited…it was kind of given to my mom as a wedding gift when she and my dad married and my grandparents moved to the second home). So my uncle sold my grandmother’s house right out from under her and is now upset because my mom’s home has increased in value. It was his poor choice that made him lose money. My grandparents were very clear in both wills, stating my mothers house is hers “always and forever”. So I guess the only way he thinks he can change anything is through intimidation of my mom and I, as any lawyer would tell him my grandparents knew how they wanted to split their property. I guess a beachfront condo in Sicily and a free house just isn’t enough for some people!

Thank you Mark and Anita for your replies.

Yes it does sound crazy to think I would want contact with someone so toxic. I don’t really think I do. When I logically think about it, I remember when I was a child, my uncle was a “cool” guy, someone I genuinely looked up to, and who was good to me. I remember he used to tape cartoons for me and showed me the classic scary old movies (Frankenstein, Dracula, etc). I’m an artist and he would draw with me.

I don’t know what happened that turned his heart so cold but it isn’t even just towards me and my mom, he’s now openly racist and homophobic and is just not a nice person in general. God knows how his wife and kids deal with him.

I think I miss what he used to be and get very sad thinking about how that person is gone. It’s like grieving over another death in a way. The person he was when my grandparents were alive is gone. And what has happened since can’t be undone and I can’t ever look at him the same. Even in recent times when there were brief moments of “peace”, I felt disgusted looking at him and hurt because of what he’s said and done.

My sense of justice is unfulfilled because I never got any apology or acknowledgement for all of the years of pain he has put pretty much my whole family through but especially my mother and I. So I guess it feels like there is no closure. That seems to be what I’m missing more than an actual relationship with him. How do you get closure when you can’t talk to the person anymore?

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