Anita,

Thank you very much for your advice. Please understand that I didn’t mean any disrespect towards you or anyone else here. If I made you feel disrespected, I’m very sorry. That was not my intention. I was just looking for advice in this area and wasn’t thinking. I apologize

I suppose sometimes I do. Though I don’t notice that much because I usually eat fast. I mean I’m happy to see food, sure. I like my glasses of wine because I feel more confident and also vulnerable but only when I had enough. Keep in mind though: I’m a wino. I Do NOT have an alcohol problem.

I’m also a sucker for Italian food. I get very happy when I see stuff like pasta or pizza. But again, I eat too fast to really enjoy it. Nothing personal; I’m just a fast eater by nature

Kate,

I appreciate your concern. I’ve actually been reading Aron’s book already. When I started reading it, everything about myself started to make sense. I’ve been thinking I’d better off working in a quiet area like in archives or something where I don’t have to constantly work with the public. I intern at the library’s archive and I feel so at peace there. I would love to transfer there but there are no job openings there at the moment. If there is an opening, I’ll look into it since I’m getting familiar with the area.

I have been seeing people about all of this. I see both a life coach and a psychiatrist. I have been seeing them for years now and I think they do a very good job with me. I’ve come along way since I started. When I say fatigued, I usually mean mental and/or emotional. It’s not necessarily physical (though it is sometimes but not always).

Believe me, I would LOVE to take a long vacation but I can’t afford it. I don’t make enough money and all the money I do make goes towards my rent and tuition. I try to take mini vacations like day trips but that’s about all I can do. Even then those day trips are rare.

As of right now, I’m just going to try to center myself and listen to what I need and do what I can to meet them.

Thank you, Peggy. I truly appreciate that. I truly try to make things better for myself. That’s why I’ve been seeing a life coach (and a faithful dog to keep me company). Sometimes I get so caught up in my problems that I just wish that they could go away immediately. I know it takes time and I get impatient sometimes.

I do have problems with self esteem. It’s been a part of me all my life and I know conquering it takes a lot of time. I do know I need to take better care of myself  and I truly want to. I just don’t know how to make time so I just keep myself docile by gluing myself to the computer. I want more for myself. I don’t want to be docile anymore. I truly try to do better like reading more. I love books and I want to read more. Sometimes I get so tired from school and work that I don’t want to do anything else but be docile.

I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m making excuse after excuse. I suppose I’m venting a little but I’m honestly trying to break this cycle that I’m in. I’m just not sure how do it. Feels like there just aren’t enough hours in the day. I just want what’s best for me.

I try that sometimes. It just takes a while for it work.

Umm…yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Hey Peggy,

Thanks for responding. To answer your questions, yes I’m sleeping fine. I’m a little slow when I wake up but I think that’s normal. I eat as right as I can. I work part time and I have to work because this is the only job I have and this will provide experience for me when I have a full time job. I need money and I want to move out of my current living conditions (another story for another time). Work and school are not entirely related but it helps given the common ground. This is something that I truly want and I’m practically halfway through my program. If all goes accordingly, I should be done in the following Spring.

I work 4 hours a day. It may not sound like much but it can be draining depending on who you work with and top that with stuff for school. I’m just an HSP that loses energy too fast. I can still cope with the energy I have left. It’s just hard. I do have rest times it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Like, I will rest up a bit before work and right after work, I’m drained again. I think that’s just a part of who I am.

As for a tutor or a patron, I’d say no. I’m very cautious about whom I trust (another long story). I do have a life coach that I talk to sometimes though. Been seeing a life coach for a few years now.

I just feel worn out from life.