Dear Anita and Pegasus63:
Thank you for such uplifting replies. It saddens me that both of you experienced similar depressing thoughts.
Anita:
I think it might be true what you said about not getting love as a child. I never liked my father and when my parents divorced, I felt great relief that I don’t have to see him any more. About my mother… well… I always felt like I’m just a bother and she would be happier without me. It was very hard to get her attention, we never spend a lot of time together. It really hurt me when I tried to talk to her and she wouldn’t even put her book down to listen. Sometimes we do talk, we laugh, but it’s rare. I never know if she will be here for me when I need her or if I can count on her. Usually it turns out that I can’t.
Pegasus63:
I’m willing to work on it, I just don’t know how… Sometimes I feel so depressed that it’s hard to imagine I could do anything to be happier. I also don’t have anyone who I could talk to, so I can be very lonely at times. I wish I could find some purpose in my life, but I feel too lost to look for it…