This sounds like classic pre-med/med school drama hahaha. I’m assuming you’re on that path? I’m on that path…also “disadvantaged.” I’ve definitely been through this with friends and classmates and I have some wisdom to share!

Unfortunately, the pre – med culture makes us feel like we have to constantly compare/compete with each other when we should compete with ourselves (be the best person/student we can be). Wether you realize it or not, you are comparing. And, comparison eventually leads to us feeling less than. It also gets really tiring after awhile.

Please remember that if one person gets a point higher on an exam – IT DOESNT MATTER. So what if he starts now and you start in a year? You guys will both be doctors! What matters is that you’re on such an important path. What matters is the quality of care  you’re going to give your patients!

When you start grad school, there will be many people like your friend, unfortunately. Here are some tips:

(1) Don’t compare. I know, its hard.

(2) Learn to set some boundaries in the friendship. When you feel like he’s irritating you, give him some space. ie: Take a break from the friendship for a few days/weeks. When I feel irritated, I take a FRIENDCATION. When we finally see each other, I feel like the break was definitely necessary and good for our friendship.

(3) Don’t share grades. If someone asks how did the test go say, “It went okay, could’ve done better.”

(4) Also, try and make friends that aren’t on this journey. You need a good balance of both to keep your sanity.

(5) If a friend is giving you more grief than joy – let them go!

It sounds like you guys have a solid friendship. You both are just on the same path and compare too much. I think once he starts school and is a year ahead of you, the comparison will stop. Keep the friendship though cause he might have some words of wisdom to share about first year 😉

Also, you don’t have to explain your disadvantaged status to anyone – except admissions committees, of course! Just because you don’t live in a cardboard box doesn’t mean you aren’t disadvantaged. I grew up in a two parent home to working class parents. Both my parents didn’t go to college and I worked throughout college to pay my tuition. But, I went to an ivy so people think i’m super privileged lol. If you feel like you are disadvantaged – then you are.

Good luck with grad school! Please remember none of this matters, just focus on giving your patients quality care!