@@Jasmine said:
You are welcome Peace57 @peace57

I used the prayer this morning at work for an important business decision and guess what – perfect outcome 🙂

Jasmine Aka Paul lol

LOL! That’s what I get for trying to write a complex post at the office, Jasmine/Paul (duality??). . .

I must try this prayer tomorrow for staff meeting. 🙂

Ruminant said:

I’m personally not so convinced with the binary thinking that everything that we say or do is either positive or negative. Facts are facts, and they are neutral. I’m not sure why people are so scared of stating facts and being straightforward about them (people in general, that is). There is a difference though in how one delivers the information, and that can require some skillful maneuvering 🙂

Hi Ruminant,

I know you are right on this. The funny thing is, I’ve had a reputation in this company for “skillful delivery” for a couple of decades. I think I’m losing my touch, or age is setting in, or something, lol!

The issues cropping up recently are pushing my territorial button, and I’m working with a number of people who are very new to this type of project, but full of ideas that they assume no one has ever thought of before. That’s a trigger for me. I’ve never understood why new people don’t ask what has been tried before, *then* suggest other methods.

Dain Supero said:

Silence is more than fine as long as silence is in fact your intention and your body language is comfortable with it. It’s not the silence that’s awkward, it’s the awkward body language that almost always accompanies it. Some of the best salespersons, leaders, thinkers, orators, and politicians have used silence quite well as a tool, and to great effect.

Hi Dain:

Thank you for that, and you are also right. I suspect my body language was all over the place the other day. In the end, I probably held my opinion more than necessary. . . and while doing so, a newcomer swooped in when talk of grant applications came up, and volunteered to take on the job of writing them that I’ve been doing for years. Everyone is jostling for position. 🙂 I’m trying to hold my judgement on the fact that she has no experience whatsoever writing grant requests. And to appreciate that I don’t have to worry about them–but I’m not at that appreciation point, yet.

I wish I could fast-forward through about a year of meditation experience right now!

Thank you both for the insights.

Wow, how wonderful to see so many responses. Thank you all so much.

Paul: I read “Feel the Fear” many years ago, not too long after Jeffers first published it. I do remember it being a very helpful book at that time–possibly I need to find my old copy and dust it off.

I like your prayer, that is very helpful. Those are exactly the kinds of things I’m seeking.

Big Blue: I have definitely *not* put enough effort into new approaches yet. I do know most of these people pretty well, as I’ve worked with many of them for years. However, the one I have taken a dislike to, I have arduously avoided getting to know.

There is so much to work on here. I have pigeon-holed this person as a certain “type” that I find annoying . There are some bits of valid basis for that judgement, but not nearly enough for the reaction I’m having. It is strange, but in times away from the group, I sometimes feel a softening toward her. But when I enter the meeting and hear her chatter, it all goes away and I just want to be as far away from her as possible. Humor is something I would ordinarily use–but I am so humorless at these moments that I can’t envision where I would pull it from.

Ruminant: You have hit the bullseye. I recognize that this is deeply tied to my ego and identity. We’re talking 30 years of identity and friendships here. Releasing my attachment to that identity and these relationships feels like floating in space all alone. Logically, I know my life won’t end. But my emotional mind doesn’t see it that way, and it is something I have to put serious work into.

Matt: Again, many more helpful thoughts. I will look for the Salzburg metta meditation. These are the kind of concrete actions that I find very useful.

Thank you all again.

Raeeka, thank you. Paul, thank you as well.

You bring up getting cut off in traffic, and that’s what’s funny to me about this. I am not a traffic stressor. In fact, a lot of routine irritations that drive other people nuts tend to roll off my back. I function really well in a crisis, and my other job is heavy deadline-driven stuff that would make many jump and run. But I obviously have some emotional hot buttons that are taking me by surprise.

Writing sounds like a good idea. Perhaps it would help me investigate more deeply.

Thanks again.