Also, i would like to add that sometimes i feel like nothing is real and i just feel a bit suicidal. It’s so much pain that im just tired, REALLY tired. So many months have passed since that moment in which the first tought came to my mind “may be you don’t love her”. I miss being able to really enjoy things. And im sure that everything is in my mind. But sometimes i just end up feeling that thing of “everything is over” (even my future with any choice i could take). Meanwhile, when im with my girlfriend i just feel a 20%  of the horror that i feel when im alone.