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Alfred

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #152600
    Alfred
    Participant

    Thank you all very much, and I will remind myself of that Mark, I really appreciate your perspective on this and will move forward one step at a time!

    #152498
    Alfred
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind and accepting words. What a beautiful thing to say. You are onto it, I am going to do my best to let go and just be, be a good person and try my best to leave a loving impression on humanity. I will honor what I believe and stop over-thinking things. I have noticed that when I over-think, it leads to confusion and being overwhelmed by everything. I’m going to stop trying to logic my relationship with God and let it be a natural process. Thank you for your response, it’s much appreciated!

    #144137
    Alfred
    Participant

    I’m a Christian but I don’t believe in hell, I believe in God’s love and forgiveness and Christ promised that even the criminal who was crucified next to him would be in “paradise”. I believe we will all experience that paradise in our next life, that’s my belief and I will stay true to it.

    Like this website I found says, even the worst of people at the worst of times were not condemned to hell. I also hold the belief that not everything in the bible is the word of God. Just live with love in your heart, do your best to cope with any pain you experience and find people, grow connections and have friends and places you can go to that reaffirm your positive beliefs.

    Here’s the link, hope you find it useful in dispelling that Christian wrath of God that has been used by too many, even if you are now a buddhist.

    http://www.thehypertexts.com/No%20Hell%20in%20the%20Bible.htm

    I’ve had to learn again that the way I was brought up was not right. My mother, although she meant well, sort of built God up to be something I should fear. Whenever I did something bad she would say things like, God is watching you, be careful because God sees what you’re doing. I held onto that for so much of my life. But I don’t believe that was ever true.

    I don’t believe that God holds onto resentment. I think even the worst of people will be made right when they meet God.

    I myself don’t believe in reincarnation/multiple lives but I respect everyone’s beliefs. Hope you can overcome your fear and just live authentically.

    #129135
    Alfred
    Participant

    Thank you Anita I will definitely be taking that advice to heart. Have a blessed week.

    #128619
    Alfred
    Participant

    Thanks Inky, she does have manic depression, but it seems to be under control right now. I know that she tries to find happiness by changing the things around her but she hasn’t yet learned that the change has to come from within before all.

    You’re right Anita. She was my first anything, I will definitely never forget the life lessons and growth from this experience. I couldn’t if I tried. I’m going to follow my dreams and just do the best I can for me, my son, my family and the world around me. Three months into our relationship she was talking to other people, but I didn’t think it would happen again so I gave her another chance, there was so much I didn’t know, my innocence was still childlike. But I won’t let anyone take my heart and mistreat it like that again. I’ve realized that I’m worthy of good things, I deserve love and I will pursue my passions with the time I have.

    #128281
    Alfred
    Participant

    Thank you Anita, youre right, all I can do is all I can do and I make the most of the time I spend with my son. When he is with me its just about us and enjoying our time together.
    Thank you for the different perspective.
    I have been given a lot of good advice on this journey but I never looked at it the way you said it.
    To be careful who I give all my love to. Thats a big lesson for me. A huge lesson. I just thought once im in it were working it out til death do us part but you cant solely depend on others for happiness. I depended on her for that and thats where I went wrong. With her I didnt have much of a backbone, I was passive a lot and allowed her to make me believe it was always me who did something wrong. That there was something wrong with me but I no longer see it that way.
    I was willing to have her back but the truth is I would not trust her. In reality I didnt fully trust her before it happened because of similar behavior she showed in the past with other people. But I forgave her and thought it could work.
    I got used to the kind of “love” I had with her because I never knew any other kind. She was my first relationship. We were so young when we met and jumped into things quick.
    I have learned so much though. As painful as it has been and can still be, I know more now of what I want from a relationship and to not make my world revolve around anyone completely. But to find someone who can compliment me and for me to do the same for them. But not in a way where we are.holding onto eachother to survive.
    I do say love you all in a pure sense of just sending my good intentions out to anyone who wants to receive it. But youre right. I cant just give my love to anyone and the next time I do fall in love it will be different.
    That person will cherish me for everything I am and everything I am not. They are out there somewhere.
    Im just going to live and pursue my passions and live with good intentions. Thank you for your helpful words.

    #128155
    Alfred
    Participant

    I suppose my values and hers are different, she was raised with constant change, I was raised with stability and predictability. Her parents split, mine stayed together. She moved often, I didn’t. She’s following a familiar pattern. Her mother did the same thing to her father as well. My idea was that family works through everything, you try everything you can before you call it quits, but clearly we weren’t on the same page.

    #128151
    Alfred
    Participant

    Hmm, I think she did, but in retrospect it’s hard to say what she felt for me. She was in a bad situation at the beginning, she wanted out of a bad family situation, I took her out and then it became one thing after the other. I think she did care for me, but I think I wasn’t what she wanted me to be. She had a lot of insecurities and needed a lot of validation that I don’t think I was able to constantly give her. And so she took it as me not loving her how I was supposed to. I asked her why she stayed with me so long at the end, she said it was convenient for her. I certainly have my flaws and take responsibility for our issues. But I don’t think anything could justify what she did to me. I don’t believe I lead her to being that way, I could have loved anyone the same way, I’m capable of putting my heart into a relationship fully. And I did. I loved her unconditionally. But her expectations perhaps were not realistic, and even then I went above and beyond in many ways.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)