Dear Claire. U r right he is ok with this . Or may b he is just playing . Can a person who loves sombdy can be Ok without communication . And even not calling or texting after she walks away ?

I.texted yesterday him to let me know when he is free so.that i call him or he can call me its 2nd day neither he replied nor he called.

And his all reasons which he gave made no sense to me . Sometime i feel like to write a letter to send him about his reasons or whatever he did . But that mutual friend gave me promise never to discuss that.reasons to.him….

I used to.love him.because i thought he understands me.like no.body else and he never judge me or my past ..i was too open and honest to him that i even told him tht i am not virgin nd my Ex emotional forcd me once to.do Sex . I was too surprised that he told that mutual friend which is.his best friend about my past forced Sex to him .

And he said he never judge me about my past .we were more like best friends according to me thn a lover ) but actually he was judging me .   .

I mean i never dare to.share with anyone else apart frm him ( in our culture its not acceptable ,its like shame when a unmarried girl isnt virgin ) .

And i never judged him nor his past neither jis present as he was living with gf .of course thy must have physical and every kinda contact i never asked if he does Sex or etc i.always understood him.gave him.pravicy..and even extra ordinary honest . May b my honesty was the most foolish act …as that mutual friend said,that u dint need to tell everything truth about yourself.and he said he thinks i m.fool.to be that.much Honest .

And may be he is right . But that was my past and when someone love another thy dont.judge them or even their past .

Regards

Thank.you so much for your precious time.

Yes i m doing overthinking because i was too serious about him.and us.and i overthink in every little information i get because i feel like he loves me thus he put such status or songs he shares that remind him.of me. But i dont know reality . What his motive behind it..

Even after two months my heart ache and every single day i was finding reason tht where i went wrong .and waiting for his response or a single.text .may be i dint do much self improvement and dint move on because i was unsure if we really broke up or whaat ? Or may b he wants me .. i hope you are understanding my feelings

sorry for writing after two month ,i have read your comments and dint contacted him and he texted me”  Hi “one time  and i dint reply after that he never texted me .from last two months even his gf wasnt in that city for about 20 days .on the other hand i could see his whatsapp status it was sad  and like he was missing me and his profile pic was the same pic which i took of him(that wasnt too good)

meanwhile i was confused too that why he dint contacted me because i was in commited relationship with him etc and if he is posting such status like he is missing me etc ..it was too tough days for me .but i wanted the reason that why he did like this ?and the reason y he dint come back when i walked away .

after 45 days of silence it was his BDAY and i wished him .he thanked me .and then no conversation ..

one of my mutual friend asked him the reason of breakup before 3 days .and his reply was that

1-  i was in contact with my EX and my ex texted him and asked him indirectly that when is he going to meet me in my country?? even though i m nt in contact with my ex .and i dnt knw how nd why has my ex texxted him like this ?as no one knew about relationship even not my ex. and if my ex texted him like this y didnt my bf discussd wd me nd startd ignoruing me .

2- he said he doesnt like that i share my things to some of his friends . here i am wrong but he never told me  that he mind such thing i never ever knew this he was always okey about these things ..i was so suprised with his this reason .

3-he said i dont try to understand him and ask him to call me or talk to me  eveytime etc.here i am again very suprised because i never did this i always respected his privacy his time his job time  .apart from last week of my walking away i complained him that u dont talk or text or call me …

4-once he said me that he ll send his parents for proposal then i should convince my family and i told him that u should convince my family etc and started kidding .thus he thinks i am not serious about him etc whatsoever .

and that mutual friend told him to contact me directly and tell me reasons as i wanted to know . nd he replied him he will call me in  somedays .but my ex doesnt know that that mutual friend told me the reasons .he still thnks i dont knw the reason .

so yestrday i texted him on his mobile no that just let me know when u have time so that i can calll you i dint get any reply .i thought may b my message wasnt deliverd

so  today was my birthday nd i got birthday TEXT msg from him .i replied him on Whatsapp to be sure that my msg is deliverd to him .i replied thank you and again i wrote that when u get free just let me know i ll call u or jst call me …

he seen my text in 5 mints but he dint respond me yet after 11 hours ..

i want to add here today he went for picnic with his friend .may be he was busy …

and he told that mutual friend that he dont wana live with that another  gf .when he discussd about me ..

i dont know where life is going and what to do ?

and why he is doing such behaviour ,

what does it mean??what should i do now ?

thank you .

hallo anita,

yah i m scared of being alone and yah u are right .i was alone in my childhood.i was always in search of my family and peoples attention . my mom loved me alot and people and my family were somehow jealous of that love.my every naughty behaviour was considered as misbehaving .

i felt as no body loves me .and sometime i wished to die in my child at age 7 to 10 while crying alone .there were many reason of that ,

1.i was youngest one in my family with 1 brother and 8 sisters .and i was consider as extra by my family apart from my dad and mom.i saw my mom she loved me more then other siblings .

2.my dad was fiancially very weak ,but he wanted us(me and my sistrs) to get education .but my mom’s cousins  and my aunties dint give any importance because of our fiancial situation .

i saw peoples behaviour with me and  with my other cousins of my age .there was always big difference.i was always so schocked that money  can make so much difference.

i dont remember well i was 9 or 11 when my dad was suffering from ALZEIHMER DISEASE .thats why i dont remmeber any good memories of my Dad .and he passed away when i was 17 – 18..

something  my childhood taught me,i know now how much it hurts to have a unloved childhood,where with ur every naughty act no one laugh but they will only scold u or beat u .

i have  nieces and nephews .some have good fianciall condition other doesnt but i always try to behave equally ,even sometime more polite with weaker one.because i dont want to give them same childhood like mine .

i just remember one thing of my dad he made me self independent .

.i see people who wish to go back into their CHildhood but i never want to go ..i love my present myself.i do study ,go for work to finance myself .dont want to have that childhood .

onething more i want to add here ,when i was 8 i was playing near my home ,i became a victim of a man.he wanted to rape me may be but he couldnt do that because he listened someone foot voice walking to that street where he was forcefullly trying to insert his fingers in my body part (Vag…a).and his second hand was on my mouth almost, also on my nose nostrills, i couldnt shout because of pain and it was also difficult for me to breath .i was weeping and escaped finally .i couldnt understnd that what was happening with me and why he did like that.i never said anyone in my family about what happend with me.

i reconize that person and my whole family also .but i never dared to speak .

at age 10 my aunty”s son he was 28 years old  scolded me and said dont come outside and stay inside house .i was scared and had to sit home .then i left going outside .he himself is characterless he used to purpose every girl even my sisters for marraige .he is still single .

i wrote here a week before but i cant find my post now .and i was waiting for reply..well leave that.sorry my english isnt that much good because i left using it.

regards

xxx

hallo anita ,

i have cut all contacts with him no more in contact .but i am afraid that if i am making right decision.will i ever get someone who ll love me better then him although he is a abuser (emotionally ).

i am scared of loneliness…i was never single before after my 13 yr old,

why deep inside me ,i am afraid and scared ,if i am not having any lose by leaving him.is that normal ?

regards

dear ANITA,
i got your point that i served myself as SERVANT not as a lover or a girlfriend ..and now i think you are right .i was the one who was too availiable for him all the time.
of course i want to be treated like a respected girlfriend and a equal partner.
my question is how to deal with this situation now .should i cut all contacts and wont look back or what?
sometime i regret that i invested too much emotionally and he was too blind to see that..
well
any advice ??

thank you

when he texted me i felt that he want me and missing me .but when he saw me outside he showed himself that he doesnt even know me….i dont know why i feel so much love for him….i dont want to love himmm 🙁