I am overwhelmed with emotion at the forthright truth you have been willing to share with me. I do recognize and acknowledge that I broke trust first and do acknowledge that I need to forgive myself for that.

One of the things I notice as I read all of these beautiful responses is that my immediate reaction is to dispute any suggestion. I want to say that if he had only done this or that, then I wouldn’t feel this or that. I am making him responsible for my emotions when I actually know that this is not his responsibility.

It is true that there there is always something that brings up these feelings and I never know where it will come from. The reason for me writing this in the first place is because he took me to work yesterday. We share a car and though he was off yesterday, he decided he needed to take me to work. It triggered negative feelings and wondering why he wouldn’t stay home and catch up on rest or whatever else he needed to do. And the next thing I knew by last night, it turned into me being angry because he rarely compliments me and then it turned into me vocalizing that maybe we should not be together. WHAT HAPPENED?! How did it escalate so quickly? Why am I unable to forgive? Why does one thing turn into 30? I am making him feel like I am giving him a laundry list of things that are wrong with him. I DO NOT want to do this but do not know how to break the cycle.

My partner is a straight up, old school alpha male. He does not know how to express feelings but says he is willing to learn and to try. He is good and loyal. He works and comes home. He works multiple jobs to do what he can to provide for our family. He is an amazing father to my 10 year old son (who lost his bio father last summer).

I just want to stop. I would like to know what feelings he may be experiencing, but he is unable to actually put them into words. I don’t want to make him feel like crap. I want to show him love. I feel like there is something wrong with me and I am ruining something amazing.

Much gratitude to all who have responded. I am humbled and appreciative.

Laura