I totally agree with Kay on this one. Your pattern (cycle) of behaviour is unhealthy and undoubtedly stems from some feelings of not feeling you’re good enough or worthy of being loved. This usually means you have low self esteem and find it difficult to be self-compassionate and love yourself. The only reason I feel this after reading your circumstance is because I have just done exactly the same thing. Broke up after 5 years but kept in touch , partly cos I couldn’t let go, and then i was pushed and pulled and used as and when it suited her needs. But I didn’t complain because I still loved her and wanted to get back together again. Eventually she wanted to move on just like your situation and I was deeply hurt. The long and short of it tho is that this pattern of behaviour (according to my psychotherapist) has gone on all of my life. I was never properly loved by either of my parents as a child, my dad was violent and abusive and psychologically a bully. I grew up feeling worthless. My mother didn’t show me love or affection cos my dad would beat her if she did (he was jealous). Therefore I grew up craving that feeling and this only became apparent as I formed relationships. I ended up in relationships where the other one was stronger or more dominant, but when the relationship broke down i couldn’t cope and crumpled. But now, I’m learning to have some self-appreciation, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. Once I get to the point where I know I’m happy with my own self then I know I’ll meet someone who deserves me…and this will happen to you but you need the time on your own to reflect, and look at yourself and hopefully begin to realise your true worth and that you only deserve to be loved properly, not toyed with.Don’t be angry with your ex girlfriend, be grateful that what has happened has brought you to this point in your life. Good luck. By the way there are lots of articles on this site that might help you too.