dear ANITA,

no i am not living with him but he wont stop texting .i blocked him than he contacted my family

dear Anita,

your post just made my heartbeat got faster started to think a greater picture of everything .

i ll start answering every thing u asked .

u wrote

“That happened Oct 2018, five months into the relationship. And yet January this year, you wrote: “we had 7 months relationship we never had problems”, that Oct drama happened in the fifth month.”

as u asked ,”.It puzzles me: you wrote that you stopped working part time while living with him because you wanted to spend more time studying, being a student. And yet,  you wrote that you were with him “24/7… taking care of him”- what about your studies, I wonder.”

i had long uni hours and after coming from uni i used to study whole day at room or sometime went to library .but all day long  my books were opened .onething more i want to add here that our schedule were always different i used to sleep all night and early morning i had uni and than  started studying etc but he used to awake all night playing games and watching movies etc and when i used to come back home he was sometime sleeping .and i used to study .. during these time we were not spending much time togather but of course the time he needed me to shower or bath or massage him or anything else i was availible and sometime wasnt availible as i was studying or in library.

1) he is 10 years older than me.and i live here without my family or anyone else . no one knew about our relationship among my cast people because none of them  lives in my city where we were living .

and he is also alone in this country without any family member.

this person is a”political”(asylum seeker) refuge and has a good reputation among our society people in europe or in this country .in this whole country there are about 60 people of our society(i am saying society ,here i mean to say people we speak same language and culture may be its better to say “People of my Cast”) he made good reputation because he helps other or is well known in our home country and he has good reputation because he is the leader of a organization ,in which all other 60 people involve.

yes  his shoulder bone was slipped from its place once in early july.i had to call ambulance and he got operated .that time i was all the time in hospital after 8-12 hours we came home .he couldnt function .i had to do nursing ,cooking bathing etc. after somedays his hands got burned whlile he was making breakfast and i was at work.

after just few days he started to feel pain in his feets everytime and he used to say he is gonna die or he had  heart problem because he was experiencing pain in chest .those time i was too tens because he wasnt so serious to go to doctor either  .he went to doctor 2-3 times .he never cared for himself .

2) no my parents arent here as i told u ,they are in my homeland and i came here to study alone .no they dont know .but just yesterday i told my sister about these all situation because he was blackmailing me .now my two sisters know about him.

3) yes anita i got  sexually involves too soon after dating him one and half months .actually we started dating in end of may and in mid of june i went to visit my family in my homeland  and i came back in july.after one month long distance realationship a nd all day long textig in my homeland.

ya in last fight i handed over everything because he asked me to .i gave him shoes and jacket ,he threw shoes outside of window  and jacket in dustbin which wasnt expected,and he took egg and everything and started throwing in dustbin .and remaining thing he took a plastic bag and took everything and kept in that ..

why i handed over other things because he was asking me to .he took glasses and left those outaside because he bought them .he said  me give him every single thing in which he invested any money …and i handed over things because i wanted to show him i dont need his things .

4) of course whatever u mentioned above all are problems.

as i wrote here :

“.he was taunting me that “why  i dint have any trust issue while having his facilities or favours ,doing shopping, taking money fom him than how suddenly i have problem with him

? he is right we had 7 months relationship we never had problem but when i saw his chats and caught him in betraying or lying i have now trust issue .i cant trust him  and i dont want to because he never take responsibility ”

here i meantthat we had no problem actually i meant to say trust issue.

5) about my study:

i have given exams and waiting for result.and will apply study in medicine field but i m having alot of interest in technology .may be i will change my becholar field .

thank you Mark ,

i am trying to contact my family.

at last today i contact one of mutual friend who dint knw about our relationship.i shared with him everything he is my best friend too .he is  always there when i need him .when i need help , money or emotional support etc .he is very nice

my this mutual friend has been with my  bf from last 15 years .he knows him well  .

and he said me that i dont need to worry about him ,because now he should be worry for blackmailing me .because he created his very good reputation in this country and among our society people  that if he publish any of the pic or if anyone comes to knw about the emotional abuse and blackmailing he is doing to  me he will be in great trouble ,nobody will respect him etc .

and he advised me that if he does more blackmailing i just should say i will tell my mutual friend and he will think before doing something.

i think he has a point my ex/bf care for his fake reputation alot he think as if he is a leader etc.and nobody is good like him .

now while writing this my bf video called me 5 time 2 misscals .because i m nt replying him and told him i m just sleeping.he is texting me if  i am okey? or dont hurt ur self ,i am getting tense .

i dont get this man seriously what he wants?

but not for a single i feel as if he loves me or even loved me ever ..

i think its better to write here Anita.

so i gave chance to that abusive and disrespectfull relationship because

1) i loved him a lot

2) he manipulated me in a great way

3) i dint know he has Antisocial pesonality Disorder .yes he is a Sociopath . because

he has no Empathy for anyone even  not for me somtime

he has no guilt when he hurt sombody even me .

he doesnt understand if he is doing wrong and i m feeling or anybody is being hurt.

he keeps blaming me  for his every single action .take no responsiblity.

he threatens ,blackmail ,disrespect and get aggressive if u want to correct him .

he doesnt understand emotions ,love .

he feel no guilt,regret or remorse.

he has too much ego and last but not least

he is never WRONG ..

so i want to start from here

i caught him lying,hiding,making stories and betraying my trust  inspite of admiting he become aggressive and start to manipulating and justifying his lies ,hiding things and betraying my trust . who does that ?  i guess no one .he has disrespected me manytime before .

we were having discussion about it as if our relationship was falling apart because of his continious lying etc.he wasnt sorry,had no guilt and was confident that  he is right and was right what he did.

i was broken seriously ,i was weeping ,crying sobbing for 2-3 hours while chatting with him until my eyelids got swollen .but he was okey with that he had no pity on me or no regret of hurting me  or my feelings . when i say him i m confused because of his action and everything he show as if its no BIG deal .its no big deal if he broke my trust ,no big deal if he hurts me .

really ??was that no BIG DEAL.at some point i got confuse and asking myself may bethats okey and he is right i am making it issue and just hurting my self .he has no fault .then i feel i am being MANIPULAT.

i told him i cant trust him and he was okey with that .he start to accuse me that i am just creating drama to get rid of him ..if i wanted to get rid of him why would i be crying ,or making him realize his actions are killing me ,WHY? .it doesnt make any sense .

we were having never ending discussion from last 3-4 days because this time i was done with his actions that he dees not admit his mistake (which i thought that he has big EGO but was wrong because he is a sociopath )and i told my self i cant continiou this relationship .i denied to be Manipulated this time  for me it was break up but for him its no big deal he kept texting me as if nothing happen everything is normal .and i was texting him back because i love this person .

as 3 days passed no solution came out .i was firm that i wont accept manipulation and blackmailing  .he start to be aggressive and told me to return his things as last time he did.but not only his things but also every single money he ever spent on me .he was taunting me that “why  i dint have any trust issue while having his facilities or favours ,doing shopping, taking money fom him than how suddenly i have problem with him

? he is right we had 7 months relationship we never had problem but when i saw his chats and caught him in betraying or lying i have now trust issue .i cant trust him  and i dont want to because he never take responsibility .

but for him everything is about money .the only reaction of him was  when  i said” i cant trust him or wanna break up”  was him asking about his things not for a single time he was ashamed of his any mistake or telling me that he loves me .

he askd me to give him his costs . as i wasnt working my financial situation is too bad i borrowed money this month for rent and he was demanding 2400euro . including the cost of the  Mac laptop which he bought for me.i agreed at first and said him give me time i ll pay ur all money .but how ?i dont have amy money what should i do .i am a student who is allowed to work part time .and currently i need money for my living .i m financially broke this month .

but later i realized during university i dint work because i dint have time and i wanted to study better but during this time i was with him 24/7 spending time,massaging his feet when he was being sick or going to hospital etc.if i worked those time inspite of being with him  i wouldn be having now financial trouble too  nor his favours which he did .

if he is asking me for his every single rupee and matrialistic than why shouldnt ask money for my time which i investing on him ,giving him Services ,massaging,taking care of him ,bathing him ,making him feel comfortable,nursing him etc.

i denied to pay him and he start calling me prostitute and that  said me “now u  will also ask the fee of having sex with him of last 7 months ” and start to manipulate me and making me emotional .but i said i ll take every single second charges  which i spend with you in nursing and taking care of u .because he said to return him every singe thing which includes Salt,sugar,Milk etc  in the house.but it was his duty to buy extra things like kitchen ,washroom stuff and i was to pay rent other charges.when i denied and asked him to pay me for my services he start to call me prostitute and said me that he ll bring customer for S*x.

i blocked him because he was thretening and blackmaling me showing me my these conversation ,my pics with him  that he ll send it to my family and publish  all in my city .he ll destroy me beause now i m his enemy he said .

when  i blocked him he texted my elder sis and told her every single thing and told her that she (me) isnt returing his money.

and my contacted me i was shocked .

Dear Anita ,

i dont want to take police help as i m

living in Europe and he is a refugee here .and if i complain against him chances are they sent him back in worst cases . Or he get in big trouble . I knw his family and also we are family friends

Continue:

he threw everything outside or kept him in a shopper near him that he ll take them wd him .at that night i had nothing to eat and i was very hungry as i dint eat whole day .i was drinking water again nd again .

my shoes are still out of window in which i also contributed money i bought them of 54 euro ,i dont want bring thm in room .

So that night passed it was morning i didn’t go to uni and now he thought i ll go and convince him or hug him as usually i do but i dint . I dint talk i took my Stuff  and the keys and went out .

He sent me a text that he cant take all stuff today as thats too much . I said i have a Suitcase of our mutual friend i ll give it to u .

i returned home in 5 mints took all my stuff frm

that  Suitcase and kept empty Suitcase .tht he can use .

Thn i had appointment bt befre going we had a picture on Wall i tore it and put in Dustbin . Now he was clear to him that i wont stop him

as i went outside he wrote me Sorry that he was an ass to me .

And he will go but i should accept his apology first. I said i hv nothing to say .pack ur luggage now.

And i returned home he was showering and came out by saying that i think we should discuss abt this one more time .

Me: i hv nothing to discuss

He: no i dont want to talk .

I did shopping fr me i bought Salt sugar all necessary things to eat . I kept in kitchen all those things .nd went fr library infrnt of him .

Aftr that he just said me one more time Sorry he was mad that night .

When i ask sorry for what?

He shows attitude as he is doing favor on me to be sorry