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Loving a person who has too much Ego

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This topic contains 32 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #232121

    Princess123
    Participant

    Its not my first time writing here .i wrote here before too.

    Hi everyone!

    here i want to write about my bf and me Nd our relationship.i love my bf alot and i invested in him emotionally alot .seriously my heart is aching how we ended the relationship. May i m the one who doesn’t want to take him back at least not now .because he crossed all boundaries in disrespecting me and before 3 days he accused me that i was flirting with a 45- 50 yrs of men . Btw i m 22 years old and i m beautiful girl .independent .

    Let me here demonstrate what really happened .

    he onced checked my emails whre he found my my ex emails which i sent him when i was in relationship with my Ex.(i described abt this in my previous post)

    we have been arguing frm last one week frm one or another issue. The reason why we keep arguing bcz he never admits if he is wrong ..and we never cme into any conclusion.because when i try to discuss he becomes defensive or does Self attack or make me count what i did wrong in past atlast manipulate me to think i m the one who is in Fault.

    #232141

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Princess123:

    Can’t have a healthy relationship with a person who is never wrong. If whenever there is a conflict, you have to be the  one in the wrong so to keep him at peace, if that is the cost of a relationship, then that relationship is not worth having.

    When you wrote “Self attack”, you mean he attacked you, not himself, correct?

    anita

    #232143

    Princess123
    Participant

    So just 3 days before we had a ugly argument which wasn’t expected at all .

    i came home i checked my laptop i felt like he checked my Id ,email bt i wasnt sure than i ignored this but next day i become sure that he opened my Account as i was Logged in in Facebook which i never use in my laptop.

    So i asked him politely if he has checked my laptop thn his Answer was what u wanna ask ?

    i said :i m Asking that if u checked my laptop?

    he: what u want to say ,Say clearly.

    Me: i m jst asking if u went through my emails or Facebook.

    He denied at first

    than i said than how come Fb is logged in in my laptop (politely)

    He: it was open so i checked little bit ur page.

    Me: i have never logged in from my Laptop.

    He :became defensive and said how can u accuse me etc .(btw he has done IT and Programming ,according to him he can Hack anybody Id ) so he start telling me that he can open my account email for that he doesn’t need to use my laptop etc .

    Telling me “Who Are You “ he can Hack anybody Id etc .

    Me : than do it .( as i dint ever cheat or flirt wd anyone on Fb or any whre and i m not scared of that )

    He : dont challenge me” Who are You “  u dnt knw me what i did etc .

    Me : u r asking me Who am i ? U tell me Who are u ? U think u r God that can never be Wrong.( because he threaten me bfre abt hacking nd destroying me when once i talked abt break up .or he was Blackmailing me simply by saying Change ur passwords nd use every privacy u can .just see what i ll do .nd it wasnt easy fr him to blackmail me and i replied u knw my all password i m nt going to change any single password .lets see wt u can do . Destroy me if u can ..and thn he said he wont do anything etc …)

    He:u asking me why checkd email bt u don’t discuss abt what i found there .( he found my ex email which we exchanged when i was in relationship wd him,it was about my Past )

    He : i noticed just today when we were in Restaurant,i tried to put my arms near shoulder u dint let me do that for long because u were giving Signal to another men and he was looking at u again and again . The men was (45-50 yrs old)

    Me : he is my Dad ages u think i was flirting wd him .nd u knw i have back pain nd neck issues frm last 2-3 days .

    He: no he wasn’t ur Dad age nd ur neck muscles issue was only there when the men was sitting infrnt of us and looking at u . When we came at home i hugged u ,u dint have any complain .

    Me : ( i m amazed) u r accusing me wd tht person . I m still young why do i need to flirt wd tht men if iwant i.can flirt wd anyone i want .  But i was always honest nd loyal wd u .thats the result i got to be loyal that i m being accused

    he started to defend himself now again nd proving me wrong by saying yah according to u u r still young u dont have problem to flirt with anyone etc ? So on

    Me: i never flirted bt i ll flirt now wait and see.

    He :ok thn i cant be with a girl like this who will flirt wd other ppl and etc .

    Me: but u r Still wd the girl whom u saw giving Signal to that old men .

    He : ok i m going out of this apartment tomorrow.and return my every Single thing which i gave u .and then i said sure . He said return now .i handed over my shoes ,pullover notebook every single thing he took every sing thing and threw outside of window or in Dustbin ,eggs,juices ,glassess , boxes salt Sugar,,biscuits,every Single thing he brought in Apartment .

    (let me add here he was living with me in my apartment he was responsible to bring all kitchen Stuff ) and i payed all bills :rent,Radio  but i never made him realize abt it .i used to work part time plus in vacations full time to arrange money plus i m a Student )

    the kitchen Stuff cost were 1/4 of bills

    #232145

    Princess123
    Participant

    Hallo Anita .

    I m just writing this in multiple posts because i m using my mobile .

    I mean personal attack ,when he is wrong he wont admit it and he blame me or just pick another issue and start to Manipulate

    #232153

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Princess123:

    I suggest that you carefully remove him from your life and see to it that you are as safe as possible doing that: see to it that he doesn’t have a key to your apartment (change the lock/ maybe install a security device), change your Facebook/ email passwords and such, do what you need to do so that he doesn’t access your private information and communications. If you have to,  involve the police and the courts to see to it that he doesn’t access you or contacts you at all.

    anita

    #232157

    Princess123
    Participant

    Continue:

    he threw everything outside or kept him in a shopper near him that he ll take them wd him .at that night i had nothing to eat and i was very hungry as i dint eat whole day .i was drinking water again nd again .

    my shoes are still out of window in which i also contributed money i bought them of 54 euro ,i dont want bring thm in room .

    So that night passed it was morning i didn’t go to uni and now he thought i ll go and convince him or hug him as usually i do but i dint . I dint talk i took my Stuff  and the keys and went out .

    He sent me a text that he cant take all stuff today as thats too much . I said i have a Suitcase of our mutual friend i ll give it to u .

    i returned home in 5 mints took all my stuff frm

    that  Suitcase and kept empty Suitcase .tht he can use .

    Thn i had appointment bt befre going we had a picture on Wall i tore it and put in Dustbin . Now he was clear to him that i wont stop him

    as i went outside he wrote me Sorry that he was an ass to me .

    And he will go but i should accept his apology first. I said i hv nothing to say .pack ur luggage now.

    And i returned home he was showering and came out by saying that i think we should discuss abt this one more time .

    Me: i hv nothing to discuss

    He: no i dont want to talk .

    I did shopping fr me i bought Salt sugar all necessary things to eat . I kept in kitchen all those things .nd went fr library infrnt of him .

    Aftr that he just said me one more time Sorry he was mad that night .

    When i ask sorry for what?

    He shows attitude as he is doing favor on me to be sorry

    #232241

    Princess123
    Participant

    Continue :

    as he went out of my apartment thn he was trying to text me . I was replying a bit .

    And again today the same he is keep texting me ,finding excuses to text me .

    I confronted him abt accusation ,he is nt ready to accept that he accused me he said he was expressing his feelings .

    I said that u told me all i ever give this relationship was my Vagina .he said u misunderstood it and he is nt responsible fr that . { here i was in Fault to misunderstand him according to him}

    and he says  i take everything so negative when i confronted him abt Accusations.

    bt he isn’t sorry he has zero realization that how he behaved and he can also be wrong

    #232245

    Princess123
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    i dont want to take police help as i m

    living in Europe and he is a refugee here .and if i complain against him chances are they sent him back in worst cases . Or he get in big trouble . I knw his family and also we are family friends

    #232263

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Princess123:

    Please do whatever it takes to no longer have him in your life. If he doesn’t want you to go to the police, then he shouldn’t do anything illegal against you or against anyone. It is not your job to protect him from the police,  it is his job to not do anything illegal and to not harm you!

    He has no right to your things, to your belongings or to your body. Protect what is yours, keep him away from you. It is wrong of him to disrespect and mistreat you as he does, and his excuse that he was expressing his feelings by mistreating you, tells me it will be the very wrong choice on your part  to give him any more of an opportunity to … express his feelings yet again, that is, to mistreat you again.

    anita

     

    • This reply was modified 3 months ago by  anita.
    • This reply was modified 3 months ago by  anita.
    #272699

    Princess123
    Participant

    dear Anita ,

    thank you for your precious advise to not keeping him in my life again .but unfortunatly i gave him another Chance and it was the very wrong choice (as u warned me )….i am going to start this in new topic

     

    #272759

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Princess123:

    I will look forward to your new topic then. Or to another post here, if you choose  to continue this thread, and reply to you when you post (here or in a new  thread).

    anita

    #272803

    Princess123
    Participant

    i think its better to write here Anita.

    so i gave chance to that abusive and disrespectfull relationship because

    1) i loved him a lot

    2) he manipulated me in a great way

    3) i dint know he has Antisocial pesonality Disorder .yes he is a Sociopath . because

    he has no Empathy for anyone even  not for me somtime

    he has no guilt when he hurt sombody even me .

    he doesnt understand if he is doing wrong and i m feeling or anybody is being hurt.

    he keeps blaming me  for his every single action .take no responsiblity.

    he threatens ,blackmail ,disrespect and get aggressive if u want to correct him .

    he doesnt understand emotions ,love .

    he feel no guilt,regret or remorse.

    he has too much ego and last but not least

    he is never WRONG ..

    so i want to start from here

    i caught him lying,hiding,making stories and betraying my trust  inspite of admiting he become aggressive and start to manipulating and justifying his lies ,hiding things and betraying my trust . who does that ?  i guess no one .he has disrespected me manytime before .

    we were having discussion about it as if our relationship was falling apart because of his continious lying etc.he wasnt sorry,had no guilt and was confident that  he is right and was right what he did.

    i was broken seriously ,i was weeping ,crying sobbing for 2-3 hours while chatting with him until my eyelids got swollen .but he was okey with that he had no pity on me or no regret of hurting me  or my feelings . when i say him i m confused because of his action and everything he show as if its no BIG deal .its no big deal if he broke my trust ,no big deal if he hurts me .

    really ??was that no BIG DEAL.at some point i got confuse and asking myself may bethats okey and he is right i am making it issue and just hurting my self .he has no fault .then i feel i am being MANIPULAT.

    i told him i cant trust him and he was okey with that .he start to accuse me that i am just creating drama to get rid of him ..if i wanted to get rid of him why would i be crying ,or making him realize his actions are killing me ,WHY? .it doesnt make any sense .

    we were having never ending discussion from last 3-4 days because this time i was done with his actions that he dees not admit his mistake (which i thought that he has big EGO but was wrong because he is a sociopath )and i told my self i cant continiou this relationship .i denied to be Manipulated this time  for me it was break up but for him its no big deal he kept texting me as if nothing happen everything is normal .and i was texting him back because i love this person .

    as 3 days passed no solution came out .i was firm that i wont accept manipulation and blackmailing  .he start to be aggressive and told me to return his things as last time he did.but not only his things but also every single money he ever spent on me .he was taunting me that “why  i dint have any trust issue while having his facilities or favours ,doing shopping, taking money fom him than how suddenly i have problem with him

    ? he is right we had 7 months relationship we never had problem but when i saw his chats and caught him in betraying or lying i have now trust issue .i cant trust him  and i dont want to because he never take responsibility .

    but for him everything is about money .the only reaction of him was  when  i said” i cant trust him or wanna break up”  was him asking about his things not for a single time he was ashamed of his any mistake or telling me that he loves me .

    he askd me to give him his costs . as i wasnt working my financial situation is too bad i borrowed money this month for rent and he was demanding 2400euro . including the cost of the  Mac laptop which he bought for me.i agreed at first and said him give me time i ll pay ur all money .but how ?i dont have amy money what should i do .i am a student who is allowed to work part time .and currently i need money for my living .i m financially broke this month .

    but later i realized during university i dint work because i dint have time and i wanted to study better but during this time i was with him 24/7 spending time,massaging his feet when he was being sick or going to hospital etc.if i worked those time inspite of being with him  i wouldn be having now financial trouble too  nor his favours which he did .

    if he is asking me for his every single rupee and matrialistic than why shouldnt ask money for my time which i investing on him ,giving him Services ,massaging,taking care of him ,bathing him ,making him feel comfortable,nursing him etc.

    i denied to pay him and he start calling me prostitute and that  said me “now u  will also ask the fee of having sex with him of last 7 months ” and start to manipulate me and making me emotional .but i said i ll take every single second charges  which i spend with you in nursing and taking care of u .because he said to return him every singe thing which includes Salt,sugar,Milk etc  in the house.but it was his duty to buy extra things like kitchen ,washroom stuff and i was to pay rent other charges.when i denied and asked him to pay me for my services he start to call me prostitute and said me that he ll bring customer for S*x.

    i blocked him because he was thretening and blackmaling me showing me my these conversation ,my pics with him  that he ll send it to my family and publish  all in my city .he ll destroy me beause now i m his enemy he said .

    when  i blocked him he texted my elder sis and told her every single thing and told her that she (me) isnt returing his money.

    and my contacted me i was shocked .

     

     

    #272809

    Princess123
    Participant

    i felt like my life is ruined how can a person do like this ?

    a person who loved me before 2 days and do such thing .

    i was weeping alot i couldnt believe he can do like this .i said him i ll pay him everything just dont contact my family now .then he said was blackmailing me that he will tell my cousin who is very rich and likes me and financially help me when i ask him .he is very jealous of him and he said i will contact him on FB etc .

    after every sometime he text my sister and i dont knw what he tells her .and my sis contact me ..

     

     

    #272813

    Mark
    Participant

    Princess123,  I am sorry you have such a person in your life.  It seems he knows how to contact your family.  I would go to each of them preemptively and tell them what is going on.

    Block him, don’t take his calls, and stop all contact with him.

    If he is threatening blackmail and you have copies of his texts to that effect then perhaps someone can counter-threaten him to say he is breaking the law doing that.

    Otherwise, back away and let the chips fall where they may for otherwise he will continue to have power over you.

    Mark

    #272825

    Princess123
    Participant

    at last today i contact one of mutual friend who dint knw about our relationship.i shared with him everything he is my best friend too .he is  always there when i need him .when i need help , money or emotional support etc .he is very nice

    my this mutual friend has been with my  bf from last 15 years .he knows him well  .

    and he said me that i dont need to worry about him ,because now he should be worry for blackmailing me .because he created his very good reputation in this country and among our society people  that if he publish any of the pic or if anyone comes to knw about the emotional abuse and blackmailing he is doing to  me he will be in great trouble ,nobody will respect him etc .

    and he advised me that if he does more blackmailing i just should say i will tell my mutual friend and he will think before doing something.

    i think he has a point my ex/bf care for his fake reputation alot he think as if he is a leader etc.and nobody is good like him .

    now while writing this my bf video called me 5 time 2 misscals .because i m nt replying him and told him i m just sleeping.he is texting me if  i am okey? or dont hurt ur self ,i am getting tense .

    i dont get this man seriously what he wants?

    but not for a single i feel as if he loves me or even loved me ever ..

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