January 12, 2019 at 8:14 am #273977
dear Anita and Mark,
i am not going to immigration authorities or police because i am scared of him .i think if i take such step he ll ruin my life if not in europe than in my home country by sharing our pics or coverstaion etc. which he wont i know but i dont know i m too scared of this man.
i am not going to immigration authorities or poilice because he acts hot and cold to me and i get confuse.lets say if he is threatening me or etc now and i decided to go police than after 7-8 hours he become a bit nicer or too nice ..as i still have a soft corner in my heart for him i become emotional too and i miss him but i wont show to him that i want anything with him anymore .
even when he acts nice to me but he never accept his wrong doings .he pass his every blame either on me ,or he got angry thus he did or he was criticising or someone else or i misunderstood ,or any other excuse ..and his this behaviour turns my feelings for him off which make me think he will never change because he is blind to see his faults ..and i will never be able to help him see if he wants to be blind that way and its none of my business (i know it sounds rude but i have to save myself first .he is 10 yrs older than me )i dont want to waste all my life correcting a person who has no idea about the basic values of life .
he accessed my emails (my and ex conversation ) and his number .he used those all things and texted my ex (i described whole story in my previews post) and when i confronted him he passed the blame or started to manipulate me by saying that why did i saved those email if i never wanted him to see or when i had nothing to do with those conversation . and when i asked why did u contacted ex?? his reply was he wanted to know why did i leave him and he feels after reading our conversation (my and my ex) that i had same behaviour with him that i used to suddenly fight and wanted to breakup .
yes those emails were in my mailbox and i have more than 6000 unread emails because i dont check email or dont have time to delete things .and if suppose i have time but still that was my private life messages and none should dare to access or read them without my permission .
calling me prostitut was a criticising according to him .
and yesterday i was sleeping whole day as i work whole night .so i dint come online in whatsapp and my last seen is also off.so he was tracking my last seen history from a tracking app .
who does that ??he is tracking my online history?? i dont know what else will he be doing behind .who knows may be he is planning to kill me or tracking my location or accessing my internet or phone history .
i dont knw what should i expect from this men ..January 12, 2019 at 8:28 am #273979
Good luck then.January 12, 2019 at 8:48 am #273987
You wrote that you are afraid/ scared of him, afraid that he will hurt you more, like he threatened that he will. But you “have a soft corner in my heart for him”- for the man who hurt you already and threatens to hurt you more.
You are confused because when he is not mean to you, calling you a prostitute and threatens you with harm, he “acts nicer or too nice”.
Do you watch or did you watch cartoons where an evil character is always bad and never nice? There are such cartoons, even movies. But in real life people are not always bad or always good. Every bad person is sometimes nice to somebody.
You are also confused because “he never accepts his wrong doings”- no one will be in prison if the only way to find a person guilty is if they accept their wrong doings. People often deny wrongdoings and crimes. It doesn’t mean that they are not guilty.
You are confused because he gets angry and blames you, so you wonder maybe you are guilty. Lots of people have strong control over others by blaming them, shaking off their responsibility for their own actions and assigning that responsibility to others, often their own victims.
You wrote: “I don’t want to waste all my life correcting a person who has no idea about the basic values of life”- I say, correct your understanding of people and life, as I suggested above.
Also correct your own basic value of accepting abuse: it is not a good value to submit to abuse.
If you are too scared (and you have too soft of a heart for him) to go to the police and immigration, and you are afraid of him, “may be he is planning to kill me”, what are your plans then?