Thanks for your replies everyone, they were all very interesting perspectives. I agree especially with the fact that friendship and being in love are not binaries… I know I will always care about him and it is for that reason that I’ve decided I will not cut ties with him. It’s not what I believe in and I don’t think it would be the compassionate thing to do or make myself feel good. If it happens naturally over time, so be it. What I am going to do is set boundaries and open up more to my other friends, the problem is that I feel like he knows me so well and I feel more able to talk to him than other people at the moment but I can change that.

I know only too well by know that the only regrets I have are not keeping in touch with old friends and exes, not the other way round… I met someone the other day who told me the best friend she has is her ex-husband (aside from her current one, I presume!)…and he lives across the pond! I think that’s so great and I want to avoid cutting anyone I’ve cared about out of my life. I feel I have lost too many along the way! Thanks again!