Thank you so much! Dear Alice and Anita, I’m so glad to have someone to talk to about this and replies have been of great help and also, a relief.

@Alice, “In terms of advice I would say leave him be and don’t message him too much” About him calling/texting, things are slowly going back to what I feel is normal

“I would also just add if you dont feel like you can be sincere with him as you may lose him maybe he isn’t the one for you e.g what are you scared of?” what I’m actually scared of is hurting/disappointing him and him eventually leaving as I don’t want to lose him.

“Deep down I felt a bit scared of him too. Like I couldn’t predict how he would act. I don’t mean he would hurt me just like I couldn’t predict how he would react to what I said” I’m not scared of him or how he would react because he’s someone that listens and I think I can actually tell him anything but I really don’t want to hurt him. Really he asked me why I think we’re a dating when I was in one my insecure moment ” the answer should be because we love one another but I couldn’t even say I love him I felt so GUILTY! that i don’t even know If I do but at the same time I don’t want to accept that I don’t because I enjoy being with him, he makes me happy whenever i see him! He doesn’t even need to do anything. yes you can enjoy being with someone as a friend but i believe his is not that type.

@Anita, it exactly as you understand. The thoughts still persist I’m not even sure I love him rn because I feel so much guilt saying the word! Its like “now I’m sure I want to be with next I’m not sure” If I was asked if I love him, I would have to think because I don’t even know anymore but I definitely don’t want to lose him and it feels selfish.