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Mia

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  • October 21, 2016 at 12:00 pm #118645
    Mia
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    First of all, you should not be too ashamed to tell the truth about your relationship. If everyone see your ex as such a wonderful guy, they cannot blame you for seeing the same things in him and wanting to believe his words. Love makes us see the best in people and feeds us with hope even when our minds tell us the chance for a happy ending is small. There is no shame in that. From your story I get the impression you feel that you fell for him too many times. How about instead seeing it as you gave him enough chances to know for sure that your relationship won’t lead anywhere?

    I think acceptance is the key to moving on. Accepting that you did what you could to make the relationship work. If you can’t forgive him for not making up his mind about what he wanted, accept it. It doesn’t mean you’ll never forgive him. Just that you are not ready yet. He meant a lot to you and the wounds made by him will take time to heal. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    If this was the situation of a close friend of yours, what would you say to support her? Sometimes we forget to be our own best friend.

    October 19, 2016 at 11:37 am #118502
    Mia
    Participant

    Ashley,

    That’s an interesting question. While I sometimes do feel regrets for all the things I didn’t do (getting a higher education, travelling), these are things that I deep down inside know that I didn’t have the guts or the energy to do at the time anyway. If anything, my husband have given me a sense of that more is possible than I believed before. While I’m a dreamer, he is a person that gets things done. I think that how much a serious relationship takes away from our youth depends a lot about what we wish for our youth to be. The part that I feel a bit that is missing is a time to have nobody but myself to take into consideration, if you know what I mean.

    In the end I believe that for whatever choice we make we sacrifice something else and that most of the time there is no truly wrong choice, as we gain/learn something either way. I honestly think I would have been alright today no matter which choice I would have made at that point in my life. Not that I don’t have issues, I still battle a lot with insecurities and self esteem issues, but I know that I’m the one who is keeping myself stuck in that swamp and I’d probably be in it anyway.

    The question you need to ask yourself is which path is more likely to give you the sense of self worth and self esteem you seek and deserve.

    October 18, 2016 at 9:52 pm #118467
    Mia
    Participant

    @ashleymarie616 Your situation sounds like the opposite of mine. After a youth filled with one bad relationship after another I found a wonderful guy at the age of 19. Today I’m 31, we are happily married and have a three year old son. Still, I feel that I never quite had the chance (or rather the courage) to figure out who I am without a partner by my side. I think I would have been a lot stronger and more independent if I for a time would have had nobody to rely on but myself. I think I would trust my own choices more.

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