Thanks for all your words, from each of you I have gained something positive.

Reading your comments has given me a slight shift in my insight to acceptance. That by accepting things such as my current situation in all its manifestations does not mean that it is wrong to think of there being another way and importantly looking for what drives me is not a distraction from the now but a way to look at how to use my core strengths for a better purpose.

If Im honest, although accepting of my situation, I am treading water at this time and not being truly congruent which probably led me to write this post.

The challenge for me is to find out my passions, something which I have struggled with. I can make a list of my strengths, such as kindness, patience, the ability to be open and objective, creative and honourable. But I cant easily list what makes my heart sing, gets me so excited I lose track of time or moves me to have to pursue it. Its almost a real challenge to get excited easily!