Plus I can’t really just talk to him about this. He is a very shut out person. He only talks about these things when he becomes desparate for help.

What happened was, he ended up standing me up. I stopped talking to him and everyday he would threaten that this is my last chance to talk go him or he was forgetting all the memories. I finally gave in and talked to him like my mom asked me to, despite the fact that I was sticking up for myself. He was so happy to see me. Then he ended up standing me up the next day. We didn’t talk for a week. Then he contacted me as if nothing ever happened and invited me to a party. I didn’t respond. He began finding different ways to contact me and I didn’t respond. Then he ended up calling me one night saying he needs my advice but since I didn’t answer, he’d find it from someone else. After that, he called me again asking to get together. I felt something was really wrong and decided to get together, despite the fact that he stood me up and hurt me so bad. I was there for him. For the first time, he apologized about anything, which was for not being there for me when my depression took a turn for the worst and I tried to commit suicide because last night he felt that way and he couldn’t imagine me living everyday like that. We ended up working things out. I was there for him. We were happy. Then he would make remarks to me about going to go and find a boyfriend. Just being a jerk. Then, he got really sick and I took care of him. Two days later, I ended up seeing him out in public with his boss that he slept with. That wasn’t much of the problem because we weren’t dating, but he lied right to my face when I said I knew where he was. He ended up confessing to me that no one thinks he likes me which is why he wouldn’t say hi to me if he had seen me. That was the most hurtful and humiliating thing that he has ever done. Then he asked if we could get together and talk later that evening and when I contacted him to do so, he became “too busy”. Tried to rush me off the phone. Was kind of coldhearted but still claiming he cares. He said he would contact me his next day off to get together and talk about us moving on right now. He never did. His next contact to me was a text from him of a URL that I ended up not able to open. Then the next day he needed meds from me because he was at urgent care. Then the next time he said he was stupid for contacting me, but he wanted to get together and talk about how our days went. Then the next time he called and left a message requesting the same thing but said he’d understand if I didn’t respond.

I haven’t responded to anything. Do you see now? He tells me he doesn’t want a relationship right now, but wants a future with me and wished we could move on right now. Then why I try to move on, he freaks and contacts me constantly.

Do you see how I’m confused? How I want to help him? How I can’t understand how to handle this?

Oh my god you just totally took that the wrong way. I think drinking and partying is an understatement to what he does. Do you want to know what he does? He wakes up every single morning, mixes every single beverage with alcohol and drinks throughout the day. He drinks and drives. He goes to work intoxicated. He goes and does everything with alcohol in his system. On top of that, he got himself into the drug dealing business. So as a person who is COMPLETELY in love with him, I’m scared to death that something will happen to him. You have no idea what I have to go through every single day.

I know he is in love with me just as much as I am in love with him. This is not a form of manipulation. He came to be 5 weeks ago after screwing me over so bad and then claimed that he was depressed and suicidal. He used that manipulative tactic against ME to get me back because he knew I was for a long time.

Don’t you dare think I’m doing this in the best interest of me. If you think the things he does is justifiable, then I guess you support him killing himself. He is a 20 year old boy intoxicating himself and will probably end up with liver disease by the age of 25. And he has treated me like shit while I have taken care of him. So don’t you dare act as if I am some manipulative person when I am the only person in his life that loves him enough to take care of him. Which is exactly why he regrets breaking up with me.

Do you not see that I have no idea how to help him at this point? Do you not see that I am terrified? I don’t know what to do and I am just so scared he is going to end up killing himself or someone else.

LDR,
Thank you so much for your response. I needed to hear that someone else has experienced this. Now that it has been a couple of days, it has all kind of settled in. It isn’t that I’m sad about the situation, I am sad that he may never be the person I fell in love with. Although, I’m sad for that reason, I can’t find myself to shed a single tear, yet I feel the sadness. My thoughts are as of right now, will he miss me? I know he will, but it is just the thought process. I feel like what bothers me the most is the fact that he acted like he didn’t care. I know that is how he is. He runs away from things, and he even admitted to it. But it made me feel like I meant nothing to him.