@anita I don’t know if it’s overwhelming feelings of loneliness or what, but I think it helps talking about it here. I have strong feelings of wanting to contact her, and I think talking my emotions through places like this helps.

The thugs I’ve read since the breakup has kind of opened my eyes to a whole new aspect of relationships.  Things like how women communicate if they won’t verbally. Things essential to keeping long term relationships healthy and interesting (none of which i was doing)  ect. Being the leader. The rock of that relationship. I was in the habit of letting her make the plans when I skulls have taken that lead. Growing up in the household I grew up in, I was under the impression that if only I didn’t verbally or physically abuse her, and was stable and supported her, I e’d pin the right track. I was wrong.

Its ironic now though. I never liked getting out too much, I’m abit of a homebody. But now, that’s all i can think about on weekends. “If only she were here, we could go do this or that”.

And

@Poppy not at all.  About a year And a half prior, she had left another note mentioning afew issues. It scared me and temporary changes were made and band aids were thrown over the issues. I really wish I had done the work I’ve done since I  terms of reading relationship books

Very litte things. Plans on a particular evening maybe, or something. Honestly, not much cones to mind. Most disagreements we had wouldn’t last more than 5 minutes, and were always resolved pretty easily. And when i say wouldn’t  “fight”, I mean there were never raised voices or heightened emotions when we’d dissagree on something. We’d discuss things maturely and cone to a compromise.