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I’d like to point out that MANY people are afraid of death and confused about mortality and the afterlife. There is no reason to let this fear disrupt your life – it is such a completely normal way to feel!!
This might sound strange, but I actually find that mortality gives my life more meaning. I used to wish I could redo my life until I got it exactly, perfectly “right.” Now I understand that, if we just kept living, and living, and living, there would never be a point where we could look back and say, “This is my life. This is who I am.” Plus, imagine how lazy (most) people would be if we lived forever, and how pointless each day might feel (“well, There’s ALWAYS tomorrow”).
I’m not saying the idea of death doesn’t scare me. Of course it does! But I am also grateful for death, and the meaning it gives to each day. I hope maybe this thought that has helped me will help you as well.
Thank you for your compassionate words. I really identify with the idea of knowing but not feeling.
I was near tears reading your story. Thank you for having the courage to share it. While it seems you have already come to realize this, I want to tell you that no one (NO ONE, EVER) deserves to be abused.
Maybe one day soon I will make my list. And, just so you know, I am working on getting professional help.
My warmest thanks,
Thank you for your support, Kaya. I really like the concept of the ego voice – I think mine has been shouting really loudly and if I can learn to turn down the volume, I will be off to a good start. Reminds me of a quote: “Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it’s source.” (Matt’s answer also reminds me of this)
Thanks for your honest response. I never thought of negative thoughts as being potentially narcissistic – that is a really interesting pint of view.