Dear Anita,
Its difficult. Though the heart says I want her but I have accept the reality. I have to leavr her alone.
The thing which hurting me at present is a guilt. The guilt upon things happened from me and the guilt that I was not able to give justice to her love.
I want to come out of this guilt and sadness.
Dear Anita,
Yes you are right. It was her past relation which caused anxeity but it was confusing. I also had past relations one gave me extremly bad experiance when I was just about 19 years old. The second one which was just before this girl. The second relationship I never felt anxeity issue about relationship though she was also having a ex boyfriend. I never asked any question about her past. That relation broke beacuse of parents as she was from diffrent cast and my parents were against her.
But in the recent case which i had mention in my previous post I was feeling insecure.. Even I was surprised that how it happened. This may be I am not sure because of her extremly frank behaviour with me and talk about physical contact. Sometimes even I asked myself do I have any rights to ask her question about her past where I was also had past relationships.
I stoped asking her about marriage long back as I felt that she is getting emotionaly crushed between me and her family. Even in our last call I didnt ask anything about marriage but at one point she again pointed out the same old point and I lost my temper. Its already pain for me also. Even I feel guilt and pain when I remember those days when I told her I can not carry on. I can not describe in words how I feel bad about her.
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