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Roni wise

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  • #52792
    Roni wise
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    Junohara,
    There is nothing quite like withdrawal from a person, and the anxiety that can take over. I know from past relationships, running after them only makes you appear desperate and needy. I was so angry for the first two months, that I didn’t care if he was dead or alive. But, after a while that anger eats you up, and who wants to become bitter, right?
    Since I had just begun a online program about releasing, inner awareness, and loving yourself, I have been focusing on meditation and journaling my emotions. Other people cannot be your reason for living, and although I care about, and love this man, I embrace it , and remember, I am the most important person in this relationship. I have good days and lonely or even tearful days, but I know I will never leave me, and that gives me comfort. Peace is all I’m after now, not control. I hope these insights help, dearest one. Suffering is a choice.

    #52582
    Roni wise
    Participant

    I have been married 7years to a man who was married 4 times before. I am a nurse and he is a retired stock broker who once was a millionaire. He is a passive man, who never said much but seemed to follow my lead. He embraced my two Sons, who are adults, and even helped my younger son to find a spiritual path. I became frequently ill during the marriage and finally had to stop working and consider surgery and perhaps not go back to work. My husband tried to handle our dwindling finances, and we lost our beautiful home, and he sold his car. I spent a great deal of attention and money towards helping my Son, and my husband put his foot down and said enough. He withdrew his bank account and moved out, stating he wanted a separation. He moved back in a year later. 4 months ago he packed up and moved away again, wanting a separation. I went ahead with my surgery, and had a difficult recovery, due to pain medication withdrawal and weakness. I found a roommate to help with expenses and have been managing financially for the time being. My husband moved 2 hours away to a small town where his spiritual mentor lives (a female ) and has fully embraced his spiritual practice to obsession, as he did when we lived together. It was becoming bizarre, and soon he abandoned all relationships with our friends and insisted on strict hours of family visits , to not interfere with his meditation . I meditate also, but not at the expense of relationships. Soon we emotionally deteriorated, and moved to separate bedrooms and separate lives. I became angry and hostile, he became more passive and lived his life independent of me, while assisting in errands and housekeeping. I felt abandoned and angry since he left, and neither of us has attempted to communicate, except by email and only business related questions. I feel like a yoyo, and burned out emotionally, but am pulled to send emails, and long for him to call. He sends obvious ” need contact” emails, and I am tiring of this game, but I’m afraid of breaking it off permanently, unsure if we just need time apart to cool off and think and get perspective, or just move on and get on the other side of this painful limbo I live in now. I got through the Holidays, wedding anniversary, and surgery without a word from him, and now need objective words to help me break this painful cycle. As I am still recovering from surgery, I am still very vulnerable and needy, but I don’t want to live like this any more. Thanks for listening…..

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