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Rosa

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • October 28, 2015 at 1:28 am #86294
    Rosa
    Participant

    Thank you for reminding me about ‘strength’ Pomplemous. This is something that I will always be grateful for, the thing that my parents gave me even though they were unable to give a lot of the things I would have liked to have been given, not material things.
    Maybe lots of people whose parents didn’t raise their children sufficiently well actually gave their children strength?
    My parents were inadequate in many ways but they made me who I am and that is something I have been, and always will be grateful for.

    October 28, 2015 at 1:21 am #86293
    Rosa
    Participant

    It’s good to read that there are others like me, people who don’t have ambition, drive or goals and I thank you sincerely for sharing that here.
    I have never felt the need to push my way through this life that I have been given. I’m happy just being happy and grateful for what I have in this life.
    It hasn’t always been like this for me, I’ve had tough times too, like most people, and like others here I knew it was just a part of my pathway…another lesson.
    I wish the world could feel as content and peaceful.

    October 27, 2015 at 11:17 am #86232
    Rosa
    Participant

    What you say is true Anita.
    I am under no delusions about how truly awful this is for children, how awful it was for us. He’s gone now and can do no more harm and I am not trying to remember him in any way that is unrealistic. What I do want to do is to resolve the anger that rose up so unexpectedly.
    I liked what you said about about the message and energy that can be derived from anger. I intend to find where this sits within me so that I can heal it and then use that transformed energy in a positive way. I have much thinking and healing to do. Thank you for your words here.

    October 27, 2015 at 9:24 am #86213
    Rosa
    Participant

    Thank you for pointing out my contradiction Anita. I suppose what I meant was that he thought he did his best.

    I know he could have done a lot better, he had such potential to be an excellent father. I think his brutality was originally born of his frustration through his lack of achievements in life even though he was a very intelligent man. His brutality was his best at times, in the worst kind of way of course, I make no excuses for him though. He was a very selfish and self centred man which also contributed to his cruel ways.
    Now, when I look back I think that he missed out on so much by not having any kind of faith to teach and sustain him. He could have been so very different.

    October 27, 2015 at 9:13 am #86208
    Rosa
    Participant

    In retrospect my parents were not nearly good enough although at the time we, as children, didn’t know of any other way and so naturally we loved them. It was only as we grew that we realised that we would not conduct our own relationships to our children in the same way.
    I made huge conscious efforts, as did my siblings, to raise my children very differently butI dare say they would raise theirs differently also.
    For me it’s a question of evolvement, and hopefully enough parents will evolve to become excellent caregivers, supporters and nurturers and encouragers. It is my hope for the world.

    October 27, 2015 at 9:02 am #86204
    Rosa
    Participant

    Dear Anita, I’m so glad that you find yourself in a place of contentment regarding the anger you felt about your mother, it’s so good to feel peaceful isn’t it?

    My parents did their best for us given their limited capabilities, they were emotionally damaged themselves so I don’t usually hold any anger towards them. It came as such a surprise to me that this surfaced recently…just another layer to peel away on the journey towards wholeness. I wonder how many more there are… 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Rosa.
    October 27, 2015 at 12:26 am #86176
    Rosa
    Participant

    Thank you Anita for your wisdom, it has given me much to think about.
    As children we were never allowed to express anger even though we lived with so much around us, as the eldest of six I often found myself in the role of protector and pacifier. My parents are dead now and I suppose that having kept a lid on the anger, I feel now that it has found a way to come out…at last! 🙂
    I am reassured by the fact that you say it is ok to feel it and I think that maybe my relationship to it has really changed into something more healthy now…although I am sure that I still have work to do to ensure that it remains so.
    I am aware that anger is a natural emotion that has a positive side and I will work towards making sure that I channel this emotion for positive use.
    Thank you again.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Rosa.
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