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RosieParticipantPetalinthenwind,
I am interested in joining a yoga class. Maybe that will help me open up and meet someone outside of dating apps.
RosieParticipantAnita,
I am interested in working on myself. If you hqve any suggestions on where to start that would be a great help.
RosieParticipantHello Anita,
Your analogy resonated with me. I want to be open to all the good things that life has to offer, but I am not sure how to let it in. I am willing to work on myself, if that’s what it takes. I’m just not sure where to start. I’ve heard that your childhood impacts the rest of your life and that in order to grow from it you need to reprogram your mind – by listening to affirmations and thinking positive thoughts. I have incorporated those things into my life, but nevertheless, I am still struggling to make and maintain relationships. I do have one close friend that I went to boarding school with. I also have 2 siblings that were in boarding school with me. They are also struggling. When we were younger, we thought that our family was poor – which was one the reasons why we were sent away. As a child I remember promising to myself that I would do everything in my power to be a good provider for my future children, so that they would not have a similar experience. That is one reason why I put so much effort into my career. I don’t feel like I can really trust anyone, because even if someone decides to stick around they can die.
RosieParticipantWhen I was 7 years old my father passed away and my mother ended up sending me to boarding school when I was around 10. I lived at the school until I graduated with a home filled with about 12 other girls and 2 employees who acted as our parents. I got was in a different home for elementary school, middle school, and high school. I never really felt like I had any real stability in my life. The good thing about going to boarding school was that I got a scholarship and I got to go to college. College was a pretty difficult time in my life because I did not have a good support system. I had to get a part time job in order to pay for books and so on. I always did whatever I had to do to succeed, whether that meant walking miles to work or hitching a ride to work with a stranger. It does take me a really long time to open up to people, I’m not exactly sure why that is, but it may have something to do with losing my father at a young age. After college, I moved in with a guy I was dating and his family. They were nice people, but sadly I never felt accepted by them. I think that they judged me by my upbringing and I often felt like I wasn’t good enough for their family even though I graduated from college, I got a full time job, and I genuinely cared about creating a future with their son.
RosieParticipantLet’s just say that I already approach dating like this. I am looking for someone to be a life partner and the co-founder of my family. Most of the people that I meet do not make it past the first round. It’s hard for me to find someone that can hold an actual conversation with me, and most people are just looking for a quick fling. It’s disappointing to have empty connection after empty connection. It’s also disappointing when I find someone with potential and they don’t want the same things.
RosieParticipantYes, I relate. I guess when two people want different things, it’s unfair for both involved.
RosieParticipantI am good with career matters and finances, because in those things you use your rational brain. If you work hard, you get results. The same isn’t always true in relationships. Sometimes you could give and do your best for someone, but you still may not get what you want out of the relationship.
RosieParticipantAnita, that pretty much sums it up.
RosieParticipantIt also feels like this has all happened before, or that something else is happening on another timeline.
RosieParticipantAnita,
Hmmmm…. it’s like this… I was close to being in a relationship with a man, but it didn’t work out. I still think back to when we first connected and things were going well. Since it ended though, I have been starting to date other people and move on. Randomly during the day, such as when I am working at my desk or grocery shopping, I will get this strong feeling that what I am currently doing in life is wrong and think back to that previous experience, though it didn’t go anywhere. I know that reaching out to this man would be unproductive, but it almost feels like a part of me is betraying him by moving on with my life.
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AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 