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ava

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  • February 5, 2016 at 7:23 am #95098
    ava
    Participant

    Hello Jack or Jock?

    A new member here, and I can relate to this, and here’s my fair share when it comes to individual’s suffering. It is real and it exists, my question is how can you shield yourself, while upholding your truth, and still be enjoying the company you are used to, ex. relatives, colleagues, friends?
    Recently in my work environment; for the longest time I have uphold my truth and dedication to work till I hit rock bottom seeing my self very hurt, and can no longer stand up for myself, can no longer give, battered. Though I have thought I am prepared and will never be affected as badly as I saw myself very recently (thanks for the angels or alliance of Tiny Buddha).. Was I wrong standing for my beliefs, I ask until now… So I guess, we should see somehow the patterns before it will lead us back again to a complete suffering…

    February 5, 2016 at 4:47 am #95093
    ava
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    Thank you, and you are so right- it drains and drains – I thought I could contain it. At my end, I know I tolerate such, yet in my heart I always see the light in them, considering they are going through something, also understand the pressure they had towards our work visions. And I have absorbed everything like a sponge, and it left me in tears, in pain, and to my surprise- self-doubt/ Though in my mind I have conditioned to be considerate to them yet still as a human it affected me / Have also cared so much on the other coworkers that relies on my presence, so have taken it all.

    No 2 is the best as we move forward; in line with Matty’s support and reminders yesterday. No 3 is also open at the time when it will not be worth the fight anymore.

    Thank you very much Anita, still looking forward to your feedback on how can I maintain – don’t know what to call it, the alignment, the enlightenment in day to day, in time to time.

    Bless you all!

    February 4, 2016 at 2:48 am #94928
    ava
    Participant

    Hello Matty,

    Thank you, your wisdom game me strength, I am actually crying and trembling- very torn– and when I read your words again and again it settles me down. Yes, you are right; the mentor and my inspiration is no longer there also technically we are not allowed to communicate with him due to biz agreement upon separation they had, so if you can imagine I do not know who to cling on- of whose business ethics I need to pursue, clearly the opposite of the new management- which does not also represent me- as a human being.

    I look like crazy now, crying in my office- scared ( though there is no tragic thing happens) but yes it was the self esteem that has been drained. The fear of uncertainty that eats me out. The disappointment on myself that I let them get all of me, in everything I do I am generally kind, and will give a 100% value in work and now it’s time to be kind to myself…

    Matty you are an angel, I hope to progress from here and keep you posted. As soon as I get back to my real self, which I miss so much, I will give back to this community. Bless you.

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