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Individuals Suffer

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  • December 26, 2015 at 2:24 pm #90618
    jock
    Participant

    I wanted to start a thread on this because I feel it is an important theme for my life and probably others.
    If we truly follow the mantra “to thine own self be true”, we will suffer. Stick to our principles, our view of the world, no matter what, we will suffer.
    An example. One of my brothers is a born again Christian. And he tends to make strong statements, such as the irrefutable truth of the bible and the need for all of us to be saved. This attracts ridicule from other members of our family who tend to be more secular or if christian, keep their beliefs to themselves. His ideas seem a bit outrageous to me, as well, too fundamentalist. But I feel his heart is good and I admire his courage in the face of adversity. In fact sometimes I wonder if we are the crazy ones and that his ideas are in fact, correct.
    But anyway, as I said, he suffers in our family for being different. But how courageous he is. I hope I would stick to my principles in the face of opposition like that. To take the unpopular view, even the politically incorrect view, that takes strength. I can think of times when, I’ve chosen the easier option, stay under the radar, choose to survive, be apolitical animal instead of one who stood out and took the flak.
    Only the ones who are prepared to stand out, to be targeted for their beliefs, are the real heroes in life.

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by jock.
    • This topic was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by jock.
    December 26, 2015 at 2:31 pm #90621
    jock
    Participant

    I think we need the courage to risk losing the support of even our closest friend or family. Sometimes we need to end a relationship, a friendship because we no longer respect each others’ view of the world. We are no longer on similar journeys. that hurts and makes us doubt ourselves.

    December 26, 2015 at 3:11 pm #90622
    jock
    Participant

    But then there is the suffering of not being true to self.

    December 26, 2015 at 5:10 pm #90628
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jack:

    Good to read your thread! You wrote that there is suffering in being true to oneself and there is suffering in not being true to oneself. I choose the first. The first is the suffering of the hero, the second is the suffering of the coward. There is health and freedom in the first. There are some benefits in the second, as in getting three meals per day in prison.

    anita

    December 26, 2015 at 5:15 pm #90630
    jock
    Participant

    in prison?
    prisoner of their own cowardice, you mean, I guess.

    December 26, 2015 at 5:20 pm #90631
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Fear makes the walls of our prisons as we care so much what others think of us, as we struggle to be thought well of by people who don’t even care about us, or don’t even know us. The payoffs are dismal. The payoffs are those prisoners and slaves get. Three meals per day and be invited for Christmas with the family that doesn’t like us.

    Courage and heroism, there are different benefits to that, like …freedom, being outside the prison of fear.

    Never totally fear free, but having triumphed here and there.

    anita

    December 26, 2015 at 5:28 pm #90634
    jock
    Participant

    but it is hard to be even be a loner on Tiny Buddha, isn’t it?
    Our alliance on here, was more accidental than deliberate. yet it has helped both our survival . Would you agree?
    Alliances in real life help is what I’m saying. It is really tough on your own.

    December 26, 2015 at 5:53 pm #90635
    jock
    Participant

    To not be true to oneself is self-betrayal.

    December 26, 2015 at 6:21 pm #90637
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jack:

    I highly value our alliance here and am forever on your side, loyal to you and to our alliance: this is my position. As far as I know, and I make it my business to be aware, to know, our alliance is based on honesty, on what is true. I was oh, so very true here, true to you. And I believe you were the real you here. The alliances in your or my life, outside this website, if those alliances are based on lies, significant compromises with the truth then those alliances bring and will bring us suffering, and keep us from healing what needs to heal. Healing is in being true when we are alone AND when with others.

    True with others, true alliances. Not truth OR alliances. Truth AND alliances!

    anita

    December 26, 2015 at 6:31 pm #90642
    jock
    Participant

    Anita
    we will agree to disagree on certain issues, whilst maintaining for respect for each other.
    Now that sounds like a healthy relationship to me. 🙂

    December 26, 2015 at 6:36 pm #90646
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yes, I agree to disagree with you, Jack. Absolutely, healthy is a win-win.
    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 7:23 am #95098
    ava
    Participant

    Hello Jack or Jock?

    A new member here, and I can relate to this, and here’s my fair share when it comes to individual’s suffering. It is real and it exists, my question is how can you shield yourself, while upholding your truth, and still be enjoying the company you are used to, ex. relatives, colleagues, friends?
    Recently in my work environment; for the longest time I have uphold my truth and dedication to work till I hit rock bottom seeing my self very hurt, and can no longer stand up for myself, can no longer give, battered. Though I have thought I am prepared and will never be affected as badly as I saw myself very recently (thanks for the angels or alliance of Tiny Buddha).. Was I wrong standing for my beliefs, I ask until now… So I guess, we should see somehow the patterns before it will lead us back again to a complete suffering…

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