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Sam

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  • #358372
    Sam
    Participant

    She cares for me and we enjoy each others company and have a great time together but it hasn’t moved any further. She doesn’t want to even consider moving in. I’m in love with her, I really love her and can see my whole future with her. Deep down I think I know, my fears that she cares but doesn’t love me the same way and doesn’t want a future with me are starting to make me feel really negative but I keep thinking maybe with time it will come. I haven’t loved anyone like her and I don’t want to. What do I do? I’m scared if I broach the topic she will leave me, she has been close to doing it before when she felt pressured so I steered it away and continued as we were but I know I’m not fulfilled like this but don’t want to let her go. Everyone is saying I deserve better but why can’t I see it?

    #358299
    Sam
    Participant

    Hi Linlin,

    Thank you for sharing your story. But unfortunately this isn’t just a case of my partner has trouble to verbalise it. She is reluctant to put anything into action. It is starting to feel she enjoys the non committal nature of our relationship and does not want to progress it forward. The honeymoon period wore of long ago,  naturally you’d want to move onto next steps but she is happy seeing me when she can, she cares but it’s no different to a friends with benefits. I want more. I want to marry her yet she can’t even put anything concrete down in terms of future and avoids or gets cagey about discussion. I find it odd that she says I love you to her friends and family is an affectionate person but can’t say it to me after 2 years. She’s actually not met any of my closest friends she has never made the effort to or asked and I enjoyed spending our time together so didn’t push it but even my friends are questioning our relationship. I have tried being patient and asking in different non confrontational ways but she always changes the topic. Do you think deep down she is already aware that she doesn’t love me? She is simply enjoying the company on her terms whilst I’m the mug who has fallen in love?

    #358175
    Sam
    Participant

    Thanks for the reply. There is no way she would consider therapy. Even when I bring it up carefully she makes it seem like I’m the strange one or with the problem. I guess I am as to me by now she should have said I love you. My friends who have  seen our relationship always comment we are good together but even they now think that she may have just been enjoying the ride for what it is and not really into the idea of a proper committed future with me. She keeps saying I don’t want to think about it and so forth. I keep going a long and being patient because I do love her and want a future. Have I set myself up for a fall? Anyone else been in this position?

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)