Dear Anita,

Thank you very much for replying fast!
I definitely do not like this but I feel like I am creeping. Although, I know it is public so I should be able to look at these without feeling like I am creeping.
I have seen many things. For example, he told me he never was the kind of men to objectify women, like I told you before. However, he did it quite A LOT! I know people cannot remember everything but… at some point, it sounds ridiculous to me. Right now, I feel so sick that I feel like ending everything because I do not want to be a burden, nor feeding my trust issues – because I feel like he is b***** me. 🙁

Dear Anita,

I understand. Thank you for your words, Anita.
I don’t think I am pressuring him (I prefer not getting involved if I feel like I would pressure someone to do against their will); I never asked him to change his diet or anything. He became vegetarian 8-9 months ago. Objectifying women is especially hard for me, as you might guess already. He said he always have been against that but rather than facing the problem, just ignored it/be indifferent. That he was not doing it anyway, except in his teen age, which is understandable. But then, he recently did objectified a woman, which make me feel weird in my stomach because I thought he wasn’t that type of person. I told him right away, before even dating him, that I cannot tolerate people objectifying women. That I think it is wrong in my eyes. Then, I usually choose to get involve in a relationship where my partner is also believing in this, I did not before and it amplified my belief.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 8 months ago by Savannah.

Dear Anita,

First of all, thank you for your reply. I guess it could be both.

For example, I have some hard beliefs in which I put values. I made my beliefs my lifestyle (i.e. Vegetarism, against objectifying women, etc.) If I do not like something, I will probably boycott what I can boycott. I’m probably activist in my own way. We talked about them even before we met, he told me he was agreeing, that he also thinks that way and I believe him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Although, he usually exposed what he did wrong or what he did that contradict what he believe in. He is pretty honest on these, though. I understand that for him, it is evolving. He is evolving step by step to be more consistent in his life. He said that I was a major factor of his awareness and seeing life on a different angle. I was happy to inspire someone.
I found out that some of these things happened really recently though, which feels like he was lying to me. However, these things aren’t really big/major, I can acknowledge that as well. That is why I can feel a bit ridiculous right now; if I could write it in a colorful manner, it feels like my wounds are fragile, bleeding, because I have someone that feels right and genuine but who also trigger my own beliefs. Then, the smallest thing can shake my trust and make me doubt.