Anita (and Holly!)

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, and especially for your advice.

I sent the letter out similar to your brilliant wording Anita, and I added some loving touches and more or less expressed that I die to us and that I am letting him go. I felt a sort of release when I put it in the mail. I doubt he’ll respond, but at least it will give him something to think about/consider until we talk again in 55 days (yes I am counting down!) I just hope he doesn’t find this as breaking the ‘no contact’ or disrespected in some way. I was kind in my wording though so I don’t think he’ll be upset.

Every day seems to be an uphill battle, but yes I need to give this up to God. Jeff would really have to demonstrate himself for me to go back to him, but I earnestly hope that in the coming weeks he grows in maturity and decisiveness, and I grow in strength. Honestly I’ve never felt something like this before in my heart. It’s awful because it’s so hard. Any suggestions for things I can do each day to make this easier or make time go by? I am trying to keep busy – honestly it’s first thing in the morning, late at night, and then at work when I think about it and my heart hurts the most. It’s better when I’m with friends or staying busy.