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Matt Turner

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  • July 2, 2013 at 9:22 am in reply to: Second Best and Depressed #37780
    Matt Turner
    Participant

    Dear Shay,

    I would like to thank you wholeheartedly for having the courage to share your pain here. I’m glad you feel this is a safe space for you to do so 🙂 Reading your words, there is so much positive light in the midst of your struggle.

    The most important thing is you are SO aware! Being aware of one’s situation is half the battle. Sadly, there are millions of people out there in the world suffering from childhood & family trauma just like yours. You are not alone. However, many of us are simply not aware of this and become angry as we try to figure out what’s going on. You clearly understand what’s going on in your life and the reasons why. You come across as intelligent, articulate, brave, soulful and wise. These are qualities that are obviously in you and will always be there – use them!

    Maybe this is time to have a conversation with YOU. Take your relationship completely off the table. Make it irrelevant for a while and make the focus of your healing solely about you. Ask yourself some powerful questions. Here’s some to get you started:

    * What’s going on with me?
    * If my relationship didn’t exist, what would my life look like?
    * What would I be experiencing?
    * What’s possible for me?
    * What can’t I do right now?
    * Why can’t I do this?
    * What’s in the way?
    * What do I need to get by?
    * What’s my ideal life look like?
    * What’s missing right now?
    * What am I frightened of?
    * What’s true about this fear?
    * How do I know what’s true?
    * What’s the best that can happen?

    Hopefully some of these may get you thinking a little differently and kick-start your movement into another direction.

    You are a wonderful woman, Shay. Appreciate what you have, what you are capable of and what’s possible for you. It’s a whole lot more than you possibly think right now.

    I wish you love, peace and wellness. You deserve it!

    Matt.

    July 2, 2013 at 8:55 am in reply to: Coming to a crossroad how do I make the best decision? #37776
    Matt Turner
    Participant

    Hello Megan,

    I think Danubelle offers up some wise words on your situation. I would like to give you the gift of another angle. You state you only have two choices; take a look at that again. As life moves forward and situations organically change, choices constantly shift and change, offering up new choices and different perspectives. Perhaps being present each day to what choices are changing for you could be a useful exercise.

    Once we make a choice, there are always other follow-up choices to make as a consequence. This never ends and is part of life’s journey. What makes our choices viable? Well, confidence in ourselves can help. Also the understanding that no choice is permanent and can be changed, modified and adapted. Choices are never right or wrong, they are simply choices (thinking this way detaches blame and shame from our choices). And remember, not making a choice is a still a choice! By not making a choice you would be simply choosing not to choose.

    Like Danubelle says, follow your heart. What is it telling you? If you take some time to sit peacefully each day and just listen to what your heart is saying, this may help. Your heart is your compass and your mind the pilot. Unfortunately, our mind can be like the Captain and First Officer arguing in the cockpit! This makes decision making confusing.

    You are your own Captain. You fly your own plane. The First Officer is your inner critic warning you of the fear associated with your choices. Imagining turning off your First Officer’s microphone. This will give you the space, peace, and clarity to make a decision you can be more confident in.

    At the end of the day, nobody can tell you what to do, because they are not you. You know your own mind and life best. Trust yourself because you are wonderful, talented and have more than enough to move forward.

    Best of luck!

    Matt.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Matt Turner.
    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by tinybuddha.
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