I lost my access to my original account with username yk. So I’m posting this new account now.

I am posting an updated and just my thoughts of the events.

People say that love is blind and now indeed i agree that love is blind, I found myself unable to detach from my feelings and think objectively.

Today i had dinner with my ex and yet once again it felt so familiars as if we were dating all over again. I acted as if I was her Boyfriend in a way and I did things for her that a normal friend would never have done such as carrying her items for her.

However, I was cognizant of the fact we are no longer together anymore. Furthermore, she is actively cultivating a with another guy though she admitted to me that she is not interested in further their relationship beyond friendship.

Throughout my conversations with her, time to time i kept hearing about the new accessories she has bought or the foods she want to eat. Whilst I understand that she derives happiness from having nice food and buying things she likes; I cannot help but to feel that she could save a little money and cut back on certain but not all the purchases. Though I feel that it is my excessive scrimping bad habit acting up again.

Time after time 4 years ago until now, I cannot help but to think that she should reduce her expenses and save a little more and eat a little healthier. But if that is her source of happiness, I am still not sure if I should limit her and hope she moves closer to my expectations for her own good. However, I do understand I should learn to live with and accept the flaws of my partner in future.

On a side note, we promised to give each other however long it takes to think through and pursue other relationship if a good opportunity arise. With this thought, I guess i should think through if I am able to live with such a behaviour if we actually get back together and manage my epxectations.