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Shay

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  • #103393
    Shay
    Participant

    Hello again!

    I have been going through a changing time this last year; divorce, my father’s stroke and care giving. Custody battle of my children and meeting someone who has totally amazed and delighted me has challenged me on a whole new level.
    On so many levels the extreme of a lot of emotions has confronted me on all sides and I will say I look for centering and rely on practicing the centering more and more with heightened awareness.

    Today as I felt nagging grief over the changing of my relationships and anxiety over my meager finances. My daughter has some chronic health needs and I am responsible for half of the cost.
    It dawned on me once again to be thankful for the challenge, the loss, the changing of all things I have known and loved these last twenty years.
    That thankfulness brings me to be grateful for the rain, the flowers on my desk, then I plan to do something I delight in such as a new poem or painting.
    Ahhhh. What a sigh of relief to know that this challenge will grow me, grow my girls, parents, and maybe my ex, or others in the process. It will give me new tools, and new colors to place on the canvas.
    I think feeling this grief and concern is not over. I will revisit it again and pursue it until its story is all told. If not in the garden, then in a warm bath or an empty canvas or page. As I do, I will be thakful for the most intense of the emotions and name them, honor them, acknowledge what they have to say right down to the source of pain and then be thankful for that pain.
    Thank you for listening and for spurring me on to learn.
    I looked at the diagram of the emotional color wheel and have been contemplating my ideas and understanding of them.
    I personally would put all the intense emotions on the outside, and the inward leave in with acceptance and serenity.
    I think seeing it as a hurricane with a calm eye and disruptive violent edge is what I can identify with best.
    Thank you for opening this door for me. I have enjoyed it.

    #103033
    Shay
    Participant

    You may definitely call me Shay, and thank you for your respectful reply.

    I had not been exposed to this particular model of Plutchnik wheel of emotions by Suzanne Zeedyk, but I do appreciate your input and intend to give it time and study.

    I have worked on centeredness consciously because I saw my father’s excellent example as a child and admired this quality.
    Aside from being thankful for the “crisis” at hand, which I prefer to think of as a precious gift in ugly wrappings, I find that my personal relationship with Jesus Christ brings me back to centeredness as I seek Him immediately in a moment of “turmoil” and remember that He, as my Savior, calms the sea, stills the tempest and has the whole world in his hands. I remeber a passage of scripture which uplifts my mind and heart, Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
    I visualize giving him any situation or problem that frightens, any grief or burden, any pressure…remembering He will unconditionally love and accept me as I am because He is my perfection. I know He also will provide my needs, speak love and peace to my soul, and give me the best gifts…even those in ugly wrappings out of His good-will. All this still is wrapped in gratitude and a peace that prevails myself, others, and circumstances.

    I find meditation and prayer is essential to centeredness, and the best thing for me is being alone in nature, sitting or lying on the ground, being aware of myself first on a physical plane, then an intellectual plane, then on an emotional plane. I discuss with myself and the Lord my observances. I take my puzzles to Him and wait quietly for answers or sometimes simply name the blessings which continually abound around me.
    In the midst of extreme stress I find that I usually focus on the gratitude and then revisit later all the emotions on the canvas. Staying with each until it is processed, and being patient as I move from one to another.
    I usually can identify what causes my fear and grief fairly quickly so as to avoid the secondary emotion of anger, but there is a backlash in that when anger is not expressed openly it can be hard to express and own the root emotions. I have to work hard at giving myself the proper amount of time and the permission to really explore and express each emotion deeply. To cry, to pray, to grieve actively, and to be fearless and unashamed of the human vulnerabilities called emotions.
    I don’t know if this is what you were looking for, but it is a bit of my life.

    Self expression is my another go to, and I find that any art, writing, music or active play absolutely necessary. I very much get bogged down in depression or irritable when I don’t work into my life these things.

    Lastly I look for ways to bring life and sunshine for others. Planting flowers where others can see them, or simply smiling at strangers. Giving freely the love and grace we receive keeps those channels open and centers me more and more. This is my last resource, being dependent at times upon the first. However, when the others do not bring me relief from grief, which can be a real beast to process and be thankful for, this particular practice is a life saver. Making sure however that “giving” is truly giving is crucial. This cannot be a to do list. It cannot be fueled by fear, obligation, or guilt. It must be fueled by gratitude. And there we are again. Gratitude attitude.
    Thank you for prompting me to put this into words. I do not believe I have truly explored this subject thoroughly.
    Many thanks and blessings on you.

    #102910
    Shay
    Participant

    I might also add that emotional mastery fulfils the recognition and expression at least inwardly of the said emotion. That expression should not purposely harm self or others. The motive is very important I think. Being based in gratitude really moves us from a destructive cycle.

    #102909
    Shay
    Participant

    I think what you are talking about reflects the concept of centeredness…When we may be experiencing trouble and trauma in the physical sense but not inwardly.
    When circumstances arise that would normally generate fear or even panic, and we respond with acknowledgment, not blocking or denying that fear. Not attempting to control emotion, circumstances, or other people. Then moving toward peace as we process the emotion and circumstance. That inner tranquility acknowledges that being ok on the physical level is much more than a setting of physical things.
    Likewise when relationships disturb us, we move from acknowledgment, processing, to the reality that no matter what happens we are still where we should be, learning what there is to learn, growing because of the “disturbance” and being thankful for it.
    Gratitude in crisis is what I would call emotional mastery. As we experience and process the emotions, we may not “Look” or “feel” very mastered. Emotions will move. But the process moves us to a place more peaceful and we grow in wisdom.
    Just knowing that as we experience this is emotional mastery and inner peace. It will come out “right” in the end.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)