Hi All,
My ex and I had an ON-OFF relationship. To be more precise, he used to be on and off with me but I was head-over-heels on him from the beginning. He used to say that he couldn’t think of me as “Wife” material and left me after some 4 years of relationship. I thought I was pushy so we talked and decided that we should start from the scratch as friends. It worked to some level. Like he started responding to my texts and calls and showed me enough interest in our talk and started feeling comfortable. When I thought this could work, his parents found a prospective bride for him and he is getting engaged tomorrow. I was shattered at the very thought of him with another woman. He said that I deserve more respect and that he wont give me. He will always be contended in life while I will starve if we get married. I could have proved this wrong. Because, I know what I should do if we get married. He is the kind of guy who wants to chase and get his meal and not something that is given in a platter. I wanted to give him what he wanted if only he could have accepted to meet me whenever I asked him. He was so workaholic. I didn’t mind that except when he uses it as a reason to avoid meetings. I was once his most important person but now, i have become an important guest to his engagement. He says that he remember all the things happened between us despite which he accepted this arranged marriage. He says that he doesn’t miss me like losing the best girl for marrying.

I still love him. I promised that i will leave his life if ever he brings another girl. I have gave up whatsapp, facebook and soon .. my job so that I can fulfill my promise. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. Trying to breathe every minute is a pain. I couldn’t eat or sleep even if I want to. He now says that we can be friends forever but when I wanted him to open up and be friends to feel comfortable with me, he ran up the hills. Now how can I be friends?. Atleast one of us should be happy. Let him be. what else would i want? I’m planning to leave without saying so that he wont know and wont regret.

What hurts me badly is when he told that “he will miss me in life but doesn’t when it comes to marriage decision.” I’m totally worthless. I’m trying to find my place in this world now.